Dear Abby: My dad star ted an affair with a woman who is four years older than I am. He met her when he hired her for her “ser vices.” Fast-for ward a year: He has left my mom.
Dad is miserable. His girlfriend is controlling to the point that he’s not allowed to talk to his children or grandchildren. She’s an alcoholic who mentally, verbally and physically abuses him. He recently left her and came to stay at my house. He told Mom and me that he wanted a fresh start.
Abby, he was here for less than 48 hours and went back to the girlfriend! I am convinced that he either has a drug problem or he’s sick. He has lost an extreme amount of weight. I have no idea how to help him and I’m terrified that he is going to die.
Now he won’t talk to me. He left while I was at work so he wouldn’t have to face me. I don’t understand why he would come here only to turn right around and leave. I am disgusted, disappointed and angr y. Should I cut all ties with him until he gets his life together? — Disappointed Daughter
Dear Disappointed: Considering what has been going on, your feelings are natural. However, victims sometimes need several attempts to leave their abusers, and your dad may be no exception.
Dear Abby: I have been dating a wonder ful girl for about seven months. We’re sophomores in college.
The problem is that I’m starting to notice that she seems to be homophobic. I was raised in a liberal, openminded home, whereas hers was much more conser vative.
When I tell her that I support marriage equality and the LGBTQ community, she gets ver y quiet and uneasy.
I care for her, but I don’t know if I can be with someone who’s this uncomfor table about homosexuality. What do you think I should do? — Torn College Sophomore
Dear Torn: She may be a wonder ful girl, but whether you are wonder ful for each other is open to question. Tr y to project ahead. If the two of you were to marry and she was unable to overcome her aversion to gay people, to what extent would it limit your ability to interact with them? Or their ability to have a relationship with you?
Let this play out a little longer to see if she’s able to evolve with more exposure. If she’s not, then she may not be the one for you.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.