DEAR ABBY

The Times-Tribune - - Business -

Dear Abby: My dad star ted an af­fair with a woman who is four years older than I am. He met her when he hired her for her “ser vices.” Fast-for ward a year: He has left my mom.

Dad is mis­er­able. His girl­friend is con­trol­ling to the point that he’s not al­lowed to talk to his chil­dren or grand­chil­dren. She’s an al­co­holic who men­tally, ver­bally and phys­i­cally abuses him. He re­cently left her and came to stay at my house. He told Mom and me that he wanted a fresh start.

Abby, he was here for less than 48 hours and went back to the girl­friend! I am con­vinced that he ei­ther has a drug prob­lem or he’s sick. He has lost an ex­treme amount of weight. I have no idea how to help him and I’m ter­ri­fied that he is go­ing to die.

Now he won’t talk to me. He left while I was at work so he wouldn’t have to face me. I don’t un­der­stand why he would come here only to turn right around and leave. I am dis­gusted, dis­ap­pointed and angr y. Should I cut all ties with him un­til he gets his life to­gether? — Dis­ap­pointed Daugh­ter

Dear Dis­ap­pointed: Con­sid­er­ing what has been go­ing on, your feel­ings are nat­u­ral. How­ever, vic­tims some­times need sev­eral at­tempts to leave their abusers, and your dad may be no ex­cep­tion.

Dear Abby: I have been dat­ing a won­der ful girl for about seven months. We’re sopho­mores in col­lege.

The prob­lem is that I’m start­ing to no­tice that she seems to be ho­mo­pho­bic. I was raised in a lib­eral, open­minded home, whereas hers was much more conser va­tive.

When I tell her that I sup­port mar­riage equal­ity and the LGBTQ com­mu­nity, she gets ver y quiet and un­easy.

I care for her, but I don’t know if I can be with some­one who’s this un­com­for ta­ble about ho­mo­sex­u­al­ity. What do you think I should do? — Torn Col­lege Sophomore

Dear Torn: She may be a won­der ful girl, but whether you are won­der ful for each other is open to ques­tion. Tr y to project ahead. If the two of you were to marry and she was un­able to over­come her aver­sion to gay peo­ple, to what ex­tent would it limit your abil­ity to in­ter­act with them? Or their abil­ity to have a re­la­tion­ship with you?

Let this play out a lit­tle longer to see if she’s able to evolve with more ex­po­sure. If she’s not, then she may not be the one for you.

Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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