Armed robber messes with wrong wrestler
Try telling this suspect that pro rasslin’ is fake.
A would-be robber armed with an 11-inch knife made the mistake of targeting a 57-yearold Connecticut man trained in Lucha Libre. As Stamford Police Sgt. Robert Shawinsky told the Stamford Advocate: “He punched (suspect Israel) Torres in the face and conducted a takedown move on him.”
The perp, pinned to the ground when police arrived, had yet to demand a rematch at press time.
■ At @Notsportscenter: “Breaking: The SEC Network is projecting Alabama to take control of both the House and Senate.”
■ At Theonion.com: “Compassionate fisherman doesn’t have heart to throw trout back into incredibly polluted lake.”
Love on the run
A man proposed to his girlfriend when she hit the 16-mile mark while running her first New York City Marathon.
He would’ve done it at 15, but he wanted her to go the extra mile.
Which football coach boasts more future firstround draft picks, Jon Gruden or Nick Saban?
Going, going, gone
Former Marlins pitcher Justin Wayne has been sentenced to four years in prison for insurance fraud.
But with the promise of an earlier release, if he produces a quality start.
Kick off the old block
Green Bay Packers punter J.K. Scott’s wife Sydney gave birth to a son just hours after the team returned from its game at New England.
He called it “life-changing.” She’s just glad all the kicking is over.
Gone with the wins
Oilers goalie Mikko Koskinen went 7 years, 258 days between NHL wins.
Or — to put that in perspective — nearly 4½ times longer than the Browns’ recent victory drought.
Chuck the halls
Decorating early for Christmas makes people happier, according to research published in the Journal of Environmental Psychology.
If that’s the case, Raiders ornaments must be hot sellers in Oakland.
Talking the talk
■ Comedy writer Tim Hunter, on researchers’ claims that they’ve discovered the world’s oldest painting in a cave in Borneo: “The really interesting part is that it appears to show four T-rexes at a table, playing poker.”
■ NBC’S Jimmy Fallon, after the Red Sox won their first World Series since 2013: “Today, 5-year-olds in Boston were like, ‘Finally, the curse is broken.’ ”