The difference between ‘big man on campus’ and prison life is thin for 18-year-old kids
As it turns out, a bunch of my high school buddies came dangerously close to committing sexual assault and/or criminal sexual contact back in the day.
And while this sounds terrible, know this: I desperately wanted to come close to committing sexual assault and/or criminal sexual contact, but my nerd glasses, mullet, acne and 6-foot-3-inch, then-145 pound frame (see accompanying pic) prevented me from this deviant criminal history.
I bring this up because of a pretty horrifying story that’s been going on the past few weeks involving 18-year-old Lance Jyrkinen of Kentucky and a 13-year-old Hamilton girl. The two got to know each other via social media, according to authorities, and then they met, sort of ran off together for a few days, and he’s admitted to having sex with her. He’s being charged with sexual assault and faces 5 to 10 years in prison.
A sampling of the Facebook comments I came across ...
“Wow little scumbag pedophile” …. “Put this little scumbag in population and let the nature of the jail have its way with his little white ***** ” … “Death!!” … “Someone like this shouldn’t ever get out of jail. There’s no rehab for this. He’s gonna get out and do the same sick sh*t again. Lock him up for life is what I say” …. “They don’t like child abusers in jail, there is some honor among thieves, that piece of s***. Personally I think when they abused and minor they should be castrated” … And on it went. And at first blush, I agreed. But then I remembered high school. I remember being a freshman, 14 years old, and watching how all the girls I grew up with — who were also 14 — dating the senior boys, all who were all at least 17. And no one had a problem with this, save for, I’m quite sure, the fathers of the 14-year-old girls. (I remember going to pick up a 14-year-old girl at her house one day. I was 17. Her father was a Vietnam vet. I will never forget his exact words to me, reprinted here: “Jeff, if you lay a (bleeping) hand on my daughter I’ll break your (bleeping) head. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way it is.” Needless to say, I did not lay a hand on his daughter, and while I’d like to say his not-atall-veiled threat was the reason, the real reason is because I looked like a malnourished near-sighted rat with dried Clearasil caked on my chin. Anyway ...)
Anyway, this dating behavior continues to this day. Freshman girls, senior boys. And if you’re a late birthday as a girl and an early birthday as a boy — or maybe your parents held you back a year, as is the trend these days — it would be entirely possible for an 18-yearold senior to date a just-turned 14-year-old girl. And if they had consensual sex, it would qualify as criminal sexual contact and the boy would be facing 18 months in prison, which, if we spend one moment thinking about it, is insane.
Which brings us back to the Jyrkinen case. Clearly, he broke the law as it stands. Clearly, if I were the father of the girl, I’d be losing my mind. Clearly, some punishment is needed.
But to think this kid is a pedophile? I don’t see it. If she’s a year older and they’re holding hands in high school, no one bats an eye.
So unless we’re ready to say senior high school boys who date 14-year-olds are deviants, we should probably settle down in the calls for this kid’s head.
Clearly, he broke the law as it stands. Clearly, if I were the father of the girl, I’d be losing my mind. Clearly, some punishment is needed. But to think this kid is a pedophile? I don’t see it. If she’s a year older and they’re holding hands in high school, no one bats an eye. So unless we’re ready to say senior high school boys who date 14-year-olds are deviants, we should probably settle down in the calls for this kid’s head.