BEST OF JEFF: In 2014 I settled the pork roll vs. Taylor ham ‘debate’

I’ll be back to my regular schedule Wednesday, but one last “best of” ... Back in March 2014, this became, and still is, my most read story ever. It’s not a shock.

I’m about to blow your everlovin’ pork roll mind in a few moments. Seriously. Your brain is going to burn after this, especially for you north Jersey “No, it’s called ‘Taylor ham’” folks.

But before we get to this USDA-approved pork roll fact, know this: It’s not called Taylor ham. It’s called pork roll.

I mean, sure, my Greater Trenton and points south readers know this. And those living at the shore know this. Heck, even those of you north of here, in a line that more or less cuts across Hunterdon, Somerset and Union counties, know this.

But north Jersey people insist on calling it Taylor ham.

And they’re wrong. People get angry about this, as evidenced by a simple Severe NJ Weather/Trentonian poll from the other day. Over 14,000 people responded to a deceptively simple question on the Facebook page of Severe NJ Weather (run by a pork roll fan, naturally): Where are you from, and do you call it pork roll or Taylor ham?

“North Jersey calls it Taylor ham. We are right. South jersey calls it pork roll, they are wrong,” wrote one north Jersey resident.

Um, no. Got it backwards there, bub.

“Taylor Ham. I live in Wanaque and have never once requested a pork roll, egg and cheese sandwich. It doesn’t even sound right,” wrote another.

Doesn’t sound right? You know what doesn’t sound right? “A Taylor ham, egg and cheese sandwich.”

Listen: There is no debate on this. It’s pork roll. Taylor is a brand, much like Case, and they are the two major pork roll producers. Calling pork roll “Taylor ham” is akin to calling all tissues “Kleenex.” It’s simply not correct. The end. And for those of you on the wrong side of the data-driven map (see attached), I feel sorry for you. I do empathize; after all, you were brought up this way. But it’s time to change.

Especially after what you’re about to read.

Sit down. This is going to shatter north Jersey. I almost feel bad about this.

Here we go.

When those of you living in north Jersey order a “Taylor ham, egg and cheese,” chances are the “Taylor ham” you’re eating is ...

Case pork roll.

From diners to delis, supermarket shelves to WaWa, if it’s pork roll and it doesn’t say “Taylor,” it’s almost certainly Case.

And while this may seem like it should be a state secret, it’s actually the exact opposite: It says so right on the packaging.

There’s a little circle on any processed meat, egg, or poultry product that says, “U.S. inspected and passed by Department of Agriculture. EST. XXX.”

And the “XXX” will be a number that tells you who made what. Simply go to the USDA website (or, easier, Google “USDA EST”), plug in the number, and you’ll find out which company makes which product. Taylor’s EST number is 256. Case is 185.

In short: Case-brand pork roll is marketed under a handful of different names, but it’s all Case. Again, to be clear: Order a Taylor ham, egg and cheese in Clifton, you’re probably getting Case pork roll unless you see the red and white of Taylor. This is not meant — at all — as a swipe against Taylor. (Truth be told, my household is split, my wife being a Case gal with me more on the Taylor side.) All I’m trying to do is convince the north Jersey among us they are, you know, wrong. And silly.

This is enough for me. Done and done. I want to control what people call it. As a central Jersey transplant who grew up in north Jersey, I’ve learned the error of my ways. It’s time for everyone else in north Jersey to do the same. We all need to be on the same page by May 24, when the first-ever Pork Roll Festival comes to Trenton Social. There’s no room for compromise. The lines have been drawn. Compliance is demanded.

In short: Case-brand pork roll is marketed under a handful of different names, but it’s all Case. Again, to be clear: Order a Taylor ham, egg and cheese in Clifton, you’re probably getting Case pork roll unless you see the red and white of Taylor. This is not meant — at all — as a swipe against Taylor. (Truth be told, my household is split, my wife being a Case gal with me more on the Taylor side.)