It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a... bird

Residents near Okanogan County in Washington state Friday likely lived out an opening scene for Superman.

“Look! Up in the sky. It’s a bird. It’s a plane. It’s a giant penis!”

Hey, where did that last sighting come from?

Certainly not from mild-mannered Clark Kent.

An official from Naval Air Station (NAS) Whidbey Island acknowledged a Navy E/A-18 Growler warplane crew created the enlarged phallic symbol by using the jet’s exhaust.

Vice Admiral Mike Shoemaker, the commander of Naval Air Forces, told Sky News.

“The Navy holds its aircrew to the highest standards and we find this absolutely unacceptable, of zero training value and we are holding the crew accountable,” Shoemaker said.

“Sophomoric and immature antics of a sexual nature have no place in Naval aviation today. We will investigate this incident to get all the facts and act accordingly.

“This event clearly stands in stark contrast to the way our aviators and sailors are performing with utmost professionalism, discipline and excellence from our carrier flight decks and expeditionary airfields around the world today.”

A newspaper reported that a mother expressed concern about explaining the image to her young children.

“Mom, look! Up in the sky. That Navy pilot just made a giant phallic symbol with a condensed air trail.”

What’s there to explain. It’s not exactly a mushroom cloud.

There’s gotta be a lawsuit here about endangering the welfare of children or public lewdness. Disagree here for Shoemaker’s assessment.

The Navy could use this as a scholastic training exercise for birth control if they could find a way to have another jet swoop by and wrap that junk in a condom.

Can you imagine that high school assembly held in the football bleachers. That would serve as massive learning experience for students moving toward their first sexual experience.

L.A. Parker is a Trentonian columnist.