Tram­po­line next door poses risk for sun-loving neigh­bor

The Trentonian (Trenton, NJ) - - YOUR DAILY BREAK - Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY » I have re­ally nice neigh­bors, and we are al­ways pleas­ant to each other. We put up a large above-ground pool in our backyard, and they put up a tram­po­line.

I would like to en­joy our pool (how to put this del­i­cately?) with­out tan lines. I do not want to of­fend them or ex­pose my­self to their teenage son when he’s jump­ing on their tram­po­line. Is there a tact­ful way to ask them to move the tram­po­line since there is no other way to stay dis­creet in my own backyard? — No tan lines

DEAR NO TAN LINES » Have you not heard about “tan through” fab­rics? They were in­vented years ago to help women achieve a “sum­mer­time glow” with­out the risk of be­ing re­ported for in­de­cent ex­po­sure. You can find more in­for­ma­tion about this type of swimwear on­line by search­ing

“no tan line swim­suit.”

One caveat: Der­ma­tol­o­gists rec­om­mend avoid­ing the sun to pre­vent skin can­cers. When us­ing these gar­ments, make sure to use sun­screen un­der­neath the swim­suit so you will achieve an all-over tan in­stead of a nasty all-over sun­burn.

DEAR ABBY » I recently dis­cov­ered my wife was hav­ing an “emo­tional af­fair” with an also-mar­ried co-worker. She swears it wasn’t phys­i­cal, but their texts con­tain pro­fes­sions of love for each other and claims of “I can’t wait to see you again.” As I read them, my heart was pound­ing out of my ch­est, and I wasn’t sure if I would sur­vive the day.

My wife blames it on my emo­tional short­com­ings. I agree that we have had is­sues. But I love her very much, and I don’t want to see our mar­riage fail. No one forced her to have an af­fair. But she re­fuses to ac­cept that. How can I get her to ac­knowl­edge that what she did has threat­ened our mar­riage and gut­ted me?

— Hurting in Ok­la­homa

DEAR HURTING » Un­less you and your wife are will­ing to deal with the is­sues that led to her hav­ing the emo­tional af­fair, she may con­tinue to seek ful­fill­ment else­where. Stop ar­gu­ing and agree to go as a cou­ple to a li­censed mar­riage and fam­ily therapist. You both have work to do re­pair­ing your re­la­tion­ship, and do­ing so may take time and me­di­a­tion.

DEAR ABBY » Our boyand-girl twins are cel­e­brat­ing an­other birth­day soon. They will be 5 and want a joint party. They have mu­tual friends, as well as other, in­di­vid­ual friends.

What’s the best way to word an invitation sug­gest­ing that the boy guests bring only a gift for him, and the girl guests bring only a gift for her with­out sound­ing tacky? We don’t want to over­bur­den peo­ple who may feel ob­li­gated to bring some­thing for each child. Frankly, they have been blessed ma­te­ri­ally, and are in need of very lit­tle.

— Perplexed party plan­ner

DEAR PERPLEXED » Why not send sep­a­rate in­vi­ta­tions for each twin? It may save their friends’ par­ents some con­fu­sion. And con­sider in­clud­ing “If you have ques­tions or need fur­ther in­for­ma­tion, call me” on the in­vi­ta­tions as well.

Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

To or­der “How to Write Let­ters for All Oc­ca­sions,” send your name and mail­ing ad­dress, plus check or money or­der for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby — Let­ter Book­let, P.O. Box 447, Mount Mor­ris, IL 61054-0447. Ship­ping and han­dling are in­cluded in the price.

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