L.A. Parker wants to get a tattoo, and soon

According to Statistic Brain, the tattoo industry makes $1.65 billion in profit annually with ink being offered by 21,000 tattoo parlors throughout the United States.

The average cost of a tattoo stands at approximately $150 per hour which means engravers make out handsomely for getting under a person’s skin. Of course, costs vary, so there’s no need for ink masters to challenge estimated prices.

Fourteen percent of Americans have at least one tattoo. Not me, although an internal debate continues about putting something on my body. So, yes, it’s likely going to happen despite the fact that religions cast a dim view of body art. Jews, Catholics, Christians, Islams, and Muslims generally abhor alterations of the human body, particularly cutting or injections of ink.

No offense to my current female interest but her name will not receive personal skin space. Ink specialists warn against putting the name of a girlfriend or boyfriend on your body.

It’s like the kiss of death for relationships as a breakup may require an alteration or cover up, unless, of course, you leave Ike and begin dating Mike. Or perhaps, exchange Mary for Maryanne or Rosemary. Simple fix but for the most part, skip any names unless they identify your children or your parents.

No “Mom” for me, although Ella Melba Parker stands out as a significant person. Actually, leaning toward a tattoo that connects to Spider-man or perhaps a peace sign. A barb wire tattoo would work if my arms resembled NFLer J.J.Watt.

Where will this tattoo exist? Definitely not the face or easily visible. No doubt former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson reconsiders his decision for that horrible facial tattoo.

Perhaps near a shoulder blade or lower back and nothing large. Some really bad tattoos get inked into bodies and they are all on parade during visits to the beach or weddings.

And while one tattoo potentially will lead to another, no way in the world could I ever sign up for an entire body painting although some of those efforts look really cool.

So, yes. Before the end of the summer expect a column about the entire tattoo experience.