The Trentonian (Trenton, NJ)

Tips for writing an obituary

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Coping with the death of a loved one is never easy. Even those comforted by the acknowledg­ment that a recently deceased friend or family member lived a full life may still struggle with the sense of loss that comes with the passing of a loved one.

Upon the passing of a loved one, an individual is often tasked with writing an obituary. Some people may find writing an obituary is cathartic, providing an opportunit­y to tell a loved one’s life story and indicate how unique the deceased was. Because writing an obituary is not something people are asked to do every day, it’s understand­able if many men and women don’t know where to begin. Obituaries do not necessaril­y have to follow a formula, but the following tips can help people compose an obituary that conveys who their deceased loved one was and how much this person meant to friends and family.

• Contact your local newspaper. Some newspapers may have obituary guidelines that govern things like writing style and obituary length. Before writing an obituary, contact your local newspaper to determine if they have any such rules in place. Some newspapers may only publish obituaries written by their own staff members.

• Do not feel obliged to include cause of death. While acquaintan­ces who first learn of a person’s death via an obituary may be curious about cause of death, loved ones of the deceased do not have to include such informatio­n if they are uncomforta­ble doing so. Many obituaries never include such informatio­n, so readers likely won’t expect it. Those who are comfortabl­e including such informatio­n in the obituary may find it helps them avoid having to answer numerous inquiries about the loved one’s demise at the ensuing visitation and funeral services.

• Include some biographic­al informatio­n. Obituaries are typically more than simple announceme­nts of death. Some simple biological informatio­n can shed light on who the deceased was and his or her personal and profession­al accomplish­ments. Avoid getting too detailed, as newspapers may not accept obituaries that are very lengthy. But biographic­al informatio­n like full name, place of birth, family (i.e., spouse, children, grandchild­ren, etc.), military service, place of employment, charity work, and hobbies can give readers an accurate idea of the life your loved one lived.

• Include donation informatio­n. Well-wishers who read the obituary may want to send flowers or make donations to express their condolence­s. Include the family preference regarding flowers or donations in the obituary. When requesting donations be made to the deceased’s favorite charity, include the charity’s full name and contact informatio­n or a website in the obituary.

• Include visitation and funeral informatio­n. Be sure to include the day, location and visitation hours for viewings. If the funeral will be public, include the day and time of the funeral as well.

• Have the obituary ready one to two days before the services are scheduled. Publishing the obituary a couple of days in advance of visitation hours gives loved ones of the deceased time to arrange to visit and pay their respects.

— Courtesy of Metro Creative Graphics

Coping with the death of a loved one is never easy. Even those comforted by the acknowledg­ment that a recently deceased friend or family member lived a full life may still struggle with the sense of loss that comes with the passing of a loved one.

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