Third time’s a charm for one woman on Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day. Ugh.
I really don’t care for Valentine’s Day, as I’ve laid out numerous times in numerous ways throughout the years. To sum up: There’s nothing less romantic than being told to be romantic, and if you’re single and would prefer not to be, it’s just a stark reminder that your microwave dinner is getting cold.
So yes. I’ve laid out my feelings on this before, which is why last year I decided to do something different for my Valentine’s Day column: I wrote about sex shops, specifically Love, Stuff & More on Route 33 in Hamilton. It was a fun column. There was talk of ... stuff. And more.
This year, in my ongoing effort to not complain about Valentine’s Day in print, I decided to talk to someone who hasn’t given up on love, no matter what.
Let’s meet Lisa Pullen Varone, a lifelong Hamilton resident and, as of a few weeks ago, someone who is married for the third time. I gotta say: God bless.
“The first time I was 17, right out of high school, I didn’t really know the guy well, he was in the service, I got divorced at 19,” she told me.
OK. I get it. Too young to fall in love, husband not around that much, kids make mistakes.
On to number two!
“I met another guy, and I was so flattered he looked twice, I thought he was the most handsome man in the world,” she said.
Physical attraction led to love, love led to marriage, marriage led to two children, and …
“And we seperated, then got divorced,” Lisa told me. “That was around 2004.”
OK. I get that too. A modernday marriage, with kids, is no easy row to hoe. To anyone who doesn’t have kids, let me say this: They tend to suck up a lot of the oxygen in a married relationship. My kids are 10, 9, and 6, and they are always around. Getting a minute with my wife is … honestly, I sometimes think I’d have an easier time getting a minute with the Pope. It’s not easy. From the moment we wake up until the moment we go to sleep, there’s a kid needing something. I love them, jump in front of a train for them. etc., but really: It’s hard to maintain the romance when one kid is screaming about his math homework, the other is screaming about how she doesn’t like chicken nuggets all of a sudden, and the third is just doing some general, catch-all screaming.
Add in some special needs, no extended family nearby, your garden variety financial worries, and you’ve got a recipe for trouble.
My wife and I do love each other very much, and we still crack each other up, and we can still argue and fight knowing it’s going to be OK in the end.
But I will say this: If we got divorced, the last thing I’d be looking for is another wife. This is not a slight against the woman I love and share my life with; in fact, it’s the exact opposite. The idea of trying to find someone as perfect - and as perfect for me - as my wife would be a daunting task. I wouldn’t be up for it.
But Lisa Pullen Varone? She would not be denied. Love was going to win outright. Her third act starts in the Carvel on South Olden and Liberty ...
“I was working for this guy at Carvel, and he was such a nice guy,” she said. “We would go out for coffee after closing out the store, maybe a meal every so often. After a while of this, it hit me. I was like, ‘Oh my God, I think I love this guy!”
This guy - Greg Varone - apparently picked up on the vibe.
“One day he asked if he could kiss me, and I was like hell yeah!” Lisa said.
They dated for years, and he asked her to marry him, and his past January 16, the two tied the knot in front of 50 friends and family with Hamilton Mayor Jeff Martin presiding.
“You’re never too old to fall in love,” she said.
Today, they live and work together, happy and, I’m guessing, full of ice cream. They go out on Friday and Saturday nights to see local bands, and according to all reports …
“Third time’s the charm!” Lisa said.
Jeff Edelstein is a columnist for The Trentonian. He can be reached at jedelstein@ trentonian.com, facebook. com/jeffreyedelstein and @ jeffedelstein on Twitter.