Using technology to show my kids I love them

Grabbed a coffee a few weeks back with a friend who’s A) a bit more than a decade younger than me and B) has, thus far, only one child to my three.

He expressed shock and awe that I’ve managed to raise all three when he’s finding one challenge enough.

Of course, I encouraged him to have more kids. The one he has is two years old, and I said now’s a perfect time, three year difference, yadda yadda yadda.

You know what his chief concern was? And it was a sweet one, I gotta say: How do I show them all I love them? After all, if I’m focused on one, the other two are getting short shrift. Furthermore, I have my own life, my own hopes and dreams, my own beer to drink, and as such, well, more short shrift for the three kids.

But I had an answer at the ready. I have one foolproof way to show my children that I love them.

They take turns as the screensaver on my phone.

Yes. Every month or two I’ll choose a picture of one of them — never two, never three, never my wife, never my dogs, never a beer

— and they become my screensaver. So every time I pick up my phone, one of them is right in my mind.

And they lobby for the honor. I’ll snap a pic, and they’ll ask if that’s going to be my screensaver. It’s like “Lord of the Flies,” but with pixels. And no conch shell.

This all started innocently enough: About a month before the pandemic shut down the world (remember that?) I had my youngest at McDonald’s, and snapped a pic of her sucking down a milkshake. It was a cute shot, and so I made it my screensaver. There was no plan here, none at all.

COVID hit, lockdown hit, and I sure did miss things like “going to McDonald’s” and “hoping I don’t die.” So I made a silent vow to myself: I was going to keep this picture of her at Mickey D’s as my screensaver until such time we could do things like “go to McDonald’s” and “not die.”

Then summer came, and I snapped a shot of my son middive, and that became my screensaver, which caused my other daughter to wonder why she was never on my phone. Apparently, she noticed. (I blame her autism for being so perceptive. She’s actually quite remarkable. Lost a remote control? She knows where it is. Forgot which drawer the pizza cutter is in? She knows. It’s bananas. Anyway …)

Anyway, she wanted her picture as the screensaver, so I told her I’d change it in a month or two and fast forward to today, and I’ll often see one of my kids picking up my phone to check and see if I switched it yet.

Right now, the shot is of my youngest, running on an empty beach during sunset in Tamarindo, Costa Rica. It’s going to be tough to bounce that pic off, but I’ll have to, and soon. It’s been about two months and I’m guessing the other two are starting to feel unloved.