The key to happiness? Slow down
Ladies and gentlemen, please give a round of applause for Philosopher Jeff, as he — you know, me — has discovered the key to happiness.
It’s really quite simple, it’s a lesson I learned nearly three years ago and had forgotten, but it came back to me the other day when unloading the dishwasher: Slow down.
As in, sloooooooow dowwwwwwn.
As in, slow the eff down.
As in, take is slow, Joe. Slow your roll. Slow and steady wins the race.
And so (slow?) forth.
I first stumbled upon this during the COVID lockdown (memba that?!). I was outside weed whacking, trying to get through it as quickly as possible. Why? Because who the hell wants to be out there weed whacking? It’s fun for a minute, but then … it’s not. Anyway …
Anyway, as I was rushing through it, it struck me: What was I rushing for? We were locked down. There was nowhere to go, and I had nothing to do.
And then I got further hit with the following realization: Why am I ever rushing to get through anything? And then, because it was COVID times, things took a bit of a darker turn. Here’s what I wrote back then: “The only thing I’ve been rushing towards is death. I’m being literal here. That’s the finish line, and rushing through life, exhibiting zero patience, just trying to get from A to B and then back again, well, it’s a stupid way to live.”
I was right, by the way. It is a stupid way to live. And I stopped living that way. For a minute or two.
Of course, I soon went back to my old ways, of rushing through everything to get on to the next thing.
And then, last week, I was emptying the dishwasher, and going as fast I could, and I remembered what I wrote and I … started slowing down again.
This time, I’m on Day 8 of my new slow life, and so far, so good.
Here’s the thing: Slowing down forces you into the moment you’re living in, and as a result, is kind of a magical way of extending your time here on Earth. As it turns out, the present goes by much slower when you’re actually conscious of it, instead of thinking about the future or concentrating on the past.
Bonus! Thinking about the future is usually an anxiety-causing event, and thinking about the past is usually where regret rears its head, and so by staying in the present, by slowing down, you’ll also go a long way towards banishing anxiety and regret.
Listen: Generally speaking, life is basically rushing to get from one bit of drudgery to the next. Think about it: When you’re having fun, you never want it to end. You’re in the moment, usually. But when you’re not having fun, you want whatever it is you’re doing — emptying the dishwasher, weed whacking the lawn, trying to get your kids to bed, work, you name it — all you want is for it to end. But life being life, chances are the next thing you’re moving on to isn’t exactly “fun” either.
But by slowing down, by taking everything as it comes, by being hyper-conscious about it, you will be happier. I’m convinced of it.
In short: Stop and smell the roses. All of the roses. Every damn rose. All the damn time.