Man seek­ing com­mit­ment in his 30s finds ca­sual sex in­stead

The Tribune (SLO) - - Fun & Games - JEANNE PHILLIPS Con­tact Dear Abby at www. or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069.

Dear Abby:

What are your thoughts about hav­ing a sex-only ar­range­ment with an ex? Most of the women I’ve dated have con­tacted me af­ter the re­la­tion­ship was over hop­ing to have “no-stringsat­tached” sex on a reg­u­lar ba­sis. I have al­ways re­fused be­cause I ig­ured it would make it more di­fi­cult to move on and to meet some­one new.

That said, I’m an at­trac­tive guy inmy early 30s, and I’d hate to con­tinue to waste my prime sex­ual years. I’d love to be mar­ried and have a fam­ily, but I’m strug­gling to ind a woman who is hon­est, loyal, a good com­mu­ni­ca­tor and in­de­pen­dent. That leaves me with ei­ther hav­ing no sex while hop­ing for amir­a­cle, or a lot of sex with women I don’t re­ally like.— Search­ing in Ore­gon

Dear Search­ing:

Dating may look like fun, but at a cer­tain point it be­comes se­ri­ous busi­ness. You have reached an age at which you know what you are look­ing for. How­ever, you will never ind it as long as you tie your­self to women who don’t it the bill. This does not mean you must live like a monk, only that you di­rect your sex­ual (and emo­tional) en­er­gies for­ward rather than back­ward if your goal is mar­riage and a fam­ily.

Dear Abby:

I’m 16 and un­like most girls I know, I pre­fer to be nat­u­ral. I don’t shave or wax my body hair. My friends ac­cept this as my busi­ness. But my step­sis­ters say I look gross and proudly dis­play their shave and wax jobs. They say their boyfriends and nearly all guys pre­fer it.

I have a boyfriend, but we aren’t to that point. How­ever, some­day that day will come. Does it re­ally mat­ter to guys if a girl shaves and waxes? Also, how do I deal with my step­sis­ters?— Nat­u­ral in the West

Dear Nat­u­ral:

Deal with your step­sis­ters by con­tin­u­ing to ig­nore their ad­vice and fol­low­ing your own path. The idea that women should be hair­less from the eye­lids down is one that Madi­son Av­enue and the porn in­dus­try have foisted on the pub­lic. I can’t pre­dict how “guys” will re­act to you in your nat­u­ral state, but I can say this: AMAN who cares about you will be only too glad to ac­cept the en­tire pack­age.

Dear Abby:

I have a close friend who visits me of­ten. Re­cently I dis­cov­ered that in ad­di­tion to eat­ing snacks I put out, he has been sneak­ing food and things like canned bev­er­ages frommy home when I’m not look­ing.

He has money. In fact, he is a very gen­er­ous per­son. I can’t get over his be­hav­ior. Is it right that this both­ers me, and if so, what should I say?— Miss­ing My Food in Cal­i­for­nia

Dear Miss­ing:

It should bother you, be­cause as petty as it is, it’s still theft. What you should say is, “Why are you tak­ing food frommy home without ask­ing me irst?” It’s a le­git­i­mate ques­tion. If he de­nies it, your buddy may be a bit of a klep­to­ma­niac.

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