Hard­work­ing woman un­loads on her hus­band at day’s end

The Tribune (SLO) - - Fun & Games - JEANNEPHILLIPS Con­tact Dear Abby at www. DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069.

Dear Abby: My wife and I have de­mand­ing jobs nei­ther of us is crazy about. I sell insurance; she man­ages a hair­dress­ing sa­lon for a large com­pany. At day’s end I keep the events of the day— good or bad— to my­self. I have heard the say­ing “Don’t bring your fam­ily prob­lems to work, and don’t bring your work prob­lems home,” so I don’t carry any “bag­gage” home with me. If some­thing pos­i­tive hap­pens, I may men­tion it.

How do I get my wife to leave her work prob­lems at work? It’s the last thing I want to hear about. If I of­fer an opin­ion or re­spond to her, I get crit­i­cized and ac­cused of not ap­pre­ci­at­ing how hard she works. She has ac­tu­ally said, “No one else in this world works as hard as I do!” I would like to have an en­joy­able evening or week­end with her and not have to hear about HER work prob­lems. — Bag­gage-free Dear Bag­gage-free: There is an­other say­ing that may help you to be more un­der­stand­ing: A joy shared is twice a joy; a burden shared is half a burden. If your wife can’t dis­cuss her frus­tra­tions with you, who else can she safely con­fide in? A word to the wise: Women of­ten just need some­one to LIS­TEN.

Be­cause this is get­ting to you to the point that you would write to me about it, rather than of­fer sug­ges­tions or opin­ions, it’s time you tell her ex­actly what you have con­veyed to me. Maybe you can agree on a time when these is­sues can be dis­cussed.

Dear Abby: This is my sug­ges­tion for “Un­ful­filled Grandma in Min­nesota” (Jan. 15), the se­nior cit­i­zen look­ing to help young chil­dren. Schools need help! Con­tact the lo­cal el­e­men­tary school. Speak with the prin­ci­pal.

My story: Our youngest daugh­ter sent me a text. She in­di­cated my grand­son’s kinder­garten teacher was ask­ing for help in the com­puter lab. Be­ing a re­tired geek, I showed up the fol­low­ing Thurs­day, work­ing for just an hour. Af­ter three weeks the teacher asked me if I would be will­ing to help her in the class­room for four hours ev­ery Thurs­day. I agreed.

Af­ter three months, I told my wife it was the best four hours of my week. With­out blink­ing an eye, she smiled and said, “You know, it’s the best four hours of MY week, too!” Wait? WHAT?— Ful­filled Grandpa out West

Dear Grandpa: Thank you for writ­ing. Other readers also sug­gested that vol­un­teer­ing at a school can be a re­ward­ing way for se­niors to put their time to good use and help chil­dren. I heard from a “camp grandma” who vol­un­teers at a YMCA sum­mer camp, an­other who is a reader for 3- and 4-year-olds at a Head Start pro­gram, a child care worker in the nurs­ery at a church, and a man who helps to make the chil­dren of Afghan refugees feel wel­come in their new coun­try through the No One Left Be­hind or­ga­ni­za­tion. Thank you all for these im­por­tant acts of ser­vice.

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