DEAR ABBY Guests who are glued to phones can wear out their wel­come

The Tribune (SLO) - - Fun & Games - Con­tact Dear Abby at www. Dear­Abby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069. JEANNE PHILLIPS

Dear Abby: My hus­band and I live in a nice home in the desert South­west with an in-ground pool and guest­house. Our friends and rel­a­tives from back east have an open in­vi­ta­tion to visit when­ever they please. We en­joyed these vis­its un­til re­cently.

The prob­lem is their ever-present com­pul­sion to be con­nected to an elec­tronic de­vice. We are not yet re­tired, but in the past we didn’t mind tak­ing a few days off work to spend time with folks who came all the way out here to spend a few days with us. But it seems like nowa­days our guests have their noses pointed at a phone or com­puter most of the time they are here. They have ac­tu­ally missed the beauty of our area, which we are miss­ing work to show them, be­cause they are oth­er­wise en­gaged.

Is there a pleasant way to ask them to dis­con­nect for a bit while we are en­joy­ing their visit? I want our vis­i­tors to have a good time, but I find this be­hav­ior es­pe­cially rude. — Al­most Done in the South­west

Dear Al­most Done: It’s pos­si­ble that your guests don’t re­al­ize how much time they’re spend­ing on their com­put­ers and cell­phones. Be­cause you are so turned off, ex­plain to your guests that you have given them an open in­vi­ta­tion so you can en­joy each other’s com­pany, and you are hurt that they spend so much time on their elec­tronic de­vices.

Dear Abby: I am a male who was mo­lested 30 years ago. It has trou­bled me into adult­hood. Re­cently, my boss in­formed my crew that a con­victed pe­dophile will be work­ing on a trial ba­sis on our shift. The mo­ment he said it, it started set­ting off trig­gers in my head, and I am very an­gry.

When I told my boss about my ex­pe­ri­ence, he acted like he didn’t want to hear it. Do I have any rights in this mat­ter? I re­ally can’t work with a man who has hurt an­other child like I was. — Trou­bled Vic­tim Dear Trou­bled Vic­tim: You ab­so­lutely do have rights. You have the right to re­quest a dif­fer­ent shift, if that’s pos­si­ble. If it isn’t, you also have the right to look for an­other job.

Dear Abby: A good friend’s wife is cur­rently in hos­pice care and not ex­pected to live much longer. While I was at Wal­mart the other day, I passed through the card de­part­ment and, be­cause I was al­ready there, I fig­ured I would pur­chase a con­do­lence/sym­pa­thy card. When my inner circle dis­cov­ered I had bought the card be­fore she passed, they crit­i­cized me to no end. I thought it was an efficient thing to do. I’m not wrong, am I? — Efficient in the Mid­west

Dear Efficient: There was noth­ing wrong with what you did. You thought of your friend and his wife while you were in the card sec­tion, and it is the thought that counts — not the date of pur­chase. If you made any mis­take, it was in let­ting it be known that you pur­chased the card in ad­vance.

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