Dating Prince Charming necessitates love contract
DEAR AMY » After 12 years together, most of which were wonderful, my husband and I divorced. Thankfully, we are still friends.
Fast-forward two years: I found someone that I truly believe could be “The One.” I never thought this could happen, and I’m happier than I’ve ever been!
“What could be wrong?” you ask. Well, Prince Charming and I work at the same company. I am in a leadership position and he is an indirect subordinate.
While technically this romantic relationship is not against company policy, they do have a notification policy which asks us to notify HR and our direct supervisors of the relationship.
I’m worried that by making our relationship public, our supervisors, peers, and the company may treat or view us in a negative light. I want to follow the rules, but I don’t want to jeopardize my/his career or brand with the company.
Prince Charming has gone so far as to seek other employment, but with no luck (even though he doesn’t really want to leave).
How do you recommend we navigate these waters and protect our relationship and our careers at the same time? — Inconveniently
in Love DEAR INCONVENIENT» Unless you are Michael Scott and you work at Dunder Mifflin, reporting your relationship to HR does not mean that you are grabbing a megaphone and announcing your relationship to all of your colleagues. It means that you are following company policy.
If you are in a supervisory position and your company has a reporting policy for romantic relationships between co-workers, then you must report it.
The policy is in place in order to relieve you of the burden of trying to decide whether to disclose your relationship. You have to, and so you should.
Before reporting, you and Prince Charming should make sure you are both aware of the company policy and have read the handbook regarding relationships. You should understand that reporting your relationship might (but might not) necessitate a job shift within the company for him.
You should agree not to engage in professional favoritism or public displays of affection at work.
You should agree to be extremely discreet, and not to discuss your relationship with coworkers, even after signing your “love contract.”
Your supervisors and HR professionals face the same challenge regarding your relationship that you two do — to remain discreet, appropriate and professional.