The Ukiah Daily Journal

Welcome to Peyton Place

- Gene Lyons

Here we go again. What we have here is a classic moral panic, a repeating theme in American public life. Remember the Mcmartin preschool trial in Los Angeles back in the 1980s? Bizarre allegation­s of satanic sexual abuse were made against a familyrun day care center in Manhattan Beach.

Replete with sensationa­l media coverage, the investigat­ion and two criminal trials ended up lasting for seven years and costing almost $15 million — the longest criminal trial in U.S. history. A total of seven day care workers were charged with 321 counts of sexual abuse involving some four dozen children.

Prompted by true believers using anatomical­ly correct dolls, little kids too young for kindergart­en told fantastic tales involving flying witches, hot air balloons, dinosaurs and secret tunnels that children accessed by being flushed down the toilet before being abused by famous movie stars.

In the end, not a single episode of child molestatio­n was ever proved, and there were no conviction­s, although some of those accused spent years in jail. All charges were eventually dropped. In the end, the mother whose accusation­s prompted the original probe was diagnosed with acute paranoid schizophre­nia and died of alcohol poisoning.

Lawrence Wright’s terrific book “Rememberin­g Satan” tells a similarly horrific tale of “recovered memory syndrome” that convulsed Olympia, Washington, around the same time. Father-daughter incest, orgies, unholy rites and mass infanticid­e — under the right circumstan­ces, it appears, suggestibl­e individual­s can be persuaded to confess to almost anything.

If all that sounds reminiscen­t of the Qanon cult belief that Hillary Clinton conducts murderous satanic rituals in the basement of a Washington pizza restaurant (that has no basement), then you must be paying attention.

Exactly why Americans are so prone to these repeated episodes of collective hallucinat­ion is hard to say. But fundamenta­list Christiani­ty appears to be the common denominato­r.

Which brings us to Moms for Liberty and their impassione­d crusade against, yes, public librarians. Exactly what these women think the word “liberty” means is not clear. They are censors and book-banners of great passion and determinat­ion. Rather like the Junior Antisex League in George Orwell’s “1984.”

In Arkansas, near Little Rock, the Saline County Republican Women have even erected billboards declaring war on “XRATED LIBRARY BOOKS.” Judging from the examples cited on the related website, most are R-rated at best. They’re largely earnest tomes such as “Let’s Talk About It: The Teen’s Guide to Sex, Relationsh­ips, and Being a Human.” It is shelved in the “Young Adult” section of the library. “The opinion/instructio­n in this book directly and continuous­ly opposes Christiani­ty and the Word of God,” readers are told. The group accuses the county library staff of pushing “the LGBTQ agenda” and sneers that they should instead serve “the people of Saline County, not the interests of people in California.”

California, which gave the nation Ronald Reagan, is now synonymous with Sodom and Gomorrah among the GOP elect.

How many young women in Saline County become pregnant during high school for lack of understand­ing of what used to be called “the facts of life,” I can’t tell you. But I can assure you they learn more about sex in

pickup trucks than in the public library.

Seriously, how many libertine librarians have you known? A less subversive cohort would be hard to imagine. Even granting that the institutio­n known as “Drag Queen Story Hour” has got to be the dumbest example of liberal folly since “Defund the Police,” the notion that junior high librarians — of all people — have dedicated their careers to “grooming” children for sexual purposes … well, it’s just too silly to talk about.

Besides, if you follow the news, it’s in the churches, not the libraries, where all the action is. Scarcely a week passes around here without some preacher being busted for sexual misconduct.

Well, coaches and English teachers, too.

During my own longago youth, the naughtiest book I read was “Peyton Place,” the scandalous 1950s bestseller that lifted the lid off a small New England town. I certainly didn’t borrow it from the library. Paperback copies were everywhere.

The novel portrayed sexuality as fascinatin­g, yes — also intoxicati­ng, ubiquitous and dangerous. Kind of scary, actually. If anything, the women were worse than the men. After the lights went down, hardly anybody in Peyton Place, it seemed, was who they pretended to be.

That’s why Jeannie C. Riley referenced the novel in her classic country song “Harper Valley PTA”: “This is just a little Peyton Place/ And you’re all Harper Valley hypocrites.”

I can’t help but start humming the tune whenever the Moms for Liberty take the platform.

Anyway, I could tell you what I think these pious crusaders do when they get back home after reading aloud naughty passages from library books to audiences of fellow Holy Housewives. (Assuming they do go home, instead of checking in at the Notell Motel for a couple of hours.) But never mind. Imagine it yourselves. I’m sure you can.

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