Reader unsure of the future

DEAR HARRIETTE >> I never thought I'd find myself in this situation, but here I am. Recently, I was dumped by my longterm boyfriend, and I'm feeling lost and embarrassed. We've been together for nearly a decade, and the sudden end of our relationship has left me completely unsure of what to do next. I'm 30 years old, and it feels like I'm starting over in so many aspects of my life. The future I envisioned with him is now gone, and I'm struggling to make sense of it all. The pain is overwhelming, and I'm not sure how to deal with the heartbreak. I find myself wondering what went wrong and how I can move forward. The thought of facing the world as a single woman in my 30s is both intimidating and daunting. How do I cope, and where do I even begin to rebuild my life? I feel like I've lost a part of myself, and I'm unsure of who I am outside of this relationship.

— Dumped

DEAR DUMPED >> Take a deep breath. It's time to regroup. As daunting as it seems today, at least you are free of this relationship at a point when you still have a full life ahead of you. Look at this as a fresh start. Take a minute to determine what type of relationship you are looking for. What qualities do you want in a partner? What don't you want? Then get out there and meet new people. Do you have single friends? Perhaps you can go out with some of them. Let friends know that you are back on the market.

Definitely invest in a therapist who can help you get over the negative feelings you may have about yourself and your past so that you are completely available for what's next in your life. You can do it! Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@ harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.