Set boundaries with roommate

DEAR HARRIETTE >> As a first-year college student experiencing communal living for the first time, I am grappling with the challenges of sharing a room. I am increasingly frustrated with my roommate; after I granted her access to my belongings once, she consistently uses them. The same goes for my food and groceries, leaving me feeling taken advantage of. I am hesitant to confront her about this behavior, fearing that it may strain our relationship and create tension in our living arrangement. As someone new to cohabitation, I am anxious about the potential consequences of addressing this issue and uncertain about how to navigate this situation without damaging our dynamic.

— Are All Roommates Like This?

DEAR ARE ALL ROOMMATES

LIKE THIS? >> You have every right to establish boundaries in your living arrangements. You can do so clearly and kindly, but by all means go for it. Ask your roommate to have a meeting with you about your living quarters. Tell her that you have concerns about expectations, roles and responsibilities. Admit that you have never had a roommate before, so it's all new to you. Then tell her that some things have occurred that make you uncomfortable, and you want to talk about it. Be direct and specific about food, groceries and other belongings. Explain that you do not want her to use your things without asking. You can also suggest that the two of you consider buying groceries together or designate certain things that are shared. The most important part is to take the time to talk and agree on what your boundaries will be.