The Washington Post Sunday

New contest for Week 1310: The Year in Redo, Part 2


From Week 1288, product warnings/disclaimer­s: “This aircraft could plummet from the sky, falling thousands of feet and crashing in a fiery ball, spreading its contents over multiple acres, but that rarely happens.” (Russell Beland) Winner of Week 1284, compare two items in a list we supplied: The difference between the print Washington Post and Florida Man: I’m happy to find one of them lying on my doorstep at 5 a.m. (Jerome Uher) It’s Week 2 of our annual retrospect­ive, in which you get to enter any of the previous year’s contests. Last week we covered November to May; now we’ll get the 25 newer ones, which include bogus trivia about animals; funny product warnings; anagrams of movie titles; limericks; and several neologism challenges, among other dubious pursuits — including the parodies we feature this week.

So this week: Enter (or reenter) any Style Invitation­al contest from Week 1282 through Week

1306. You may enter multiple contests as long as you don’t submit more than 25 entries in all. For contests asking you to use that week’s paper, use papers and online articles dated Dec. 1324 (and feel free to refer to more recent news in any of the contests). You may even resubmit noninking entries from earlier contests.

How to find these contests? If you’re a Post subscriber, you can go to washington­

styleinvit­ational, where there’s a list of the contests that you can click on one by one, starting from Week 1306. (Be sure to check the results of that week’s contest, four weeks up the list, to make sure that your idea didn’t already get ink for someone else.) If you’re not — though you should be, you know — or if you’d like to search through a plaintext version of all the contests at once, go to the Loser Community’s own website,, click on “Master

Contest List,” and scroll way down to Week 1282 and below. See last week’s Style Conversati­onal column at for more directions. Please give the week number plus a brief ID of the contest your entry is for (e.g., “Week 1304, whatif jokes”).

Submit entries at­e1310 (all lowercase) — NOT the entry forms for those old contests.

Winner gets the Lose Cannon, our new Style Invitation­al trophy. Second place receives a little promotiona­l footshaped beer bottle opener — with the hole for the bottle in the middle of the foot — that in gloriously tonedeaf fashion bears the imprint of a Virginia funeral home. As Jeff says: “It sends simultaneo­us messages of ‘pour one out for the recently departed’ and ‘you may already have one foot in the grave.’ Jeff also notes that it’s magnetic so that you can keep it handily on your refrigerat­or, should you feel the sudden need or whim to call the funeral home. Other runners-up win our “You Gotta Play to Lose” Loser Mug or our “Whole Fools” Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get one of our lustedafte­r Loser magnets, “We’ve Seen Better” or “IDiot Card.” First Offenders receive only a smelly treeshaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). Deadline is Monday night, Dec. 24; results published Jan. 13 (online Thursday, Jan. 10). See general contest rules and guidelines at The headline for this week’s results is by Jesse Frankovich; Jesse also wrote the honorablem­entions subhead. Join the Style Invitation­al Devotees on Facebook at “Like” Style Invitation­al Ink of the Day on Facebook at; follow @StyleInvit­e on Twitter.

THE STYLE CONVERSATI­ONAL The Empress’s weekly online column discusses each new contest and set of results. Especially if you plan to enter, check it out at


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