The Washington Post Sunday

Look both ways: Before & after names


In Week 1449 the Empress put up a “Before and After”-type wordplay contest in which you start with a name and append another name, word or phrase (sometimes bending the spelling along the way).

4th place:

Dwayne Johnson’s Wax: Quite impressive when buffed. (Gary

Crockett, Chevy Chase)

3rd place:

Roald Dolly Parton: Beloved author of “James and the Giant Melons.” (Pam Sweeney, Burlington, Mass.)

2nd place and the ‘Scream’ lapel pin:

F. Scott FitzGerald Ford: “So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessl­y into the . . . oops, man overboard!” (Mark

Raffman, Reston)

And the winner of the Clowning Achievemen­t:

Giannis Antetokoun­m-Poe: Once upon a playoff mission, 2021 edition, After sitting out two games (his knee was feeling really sore) — Wearing Nike sneakers squeaky, showing off his talents freaky, Six-eleven, strong and Greek, he made amazing moves to score. Named the Finals MVP, the finest player on the floor: Giannis, Number 34. (Jesse Frankovich, Lansing, Mich.)

ImPAIRed: Honorable mentions

James Madison Cawthorn: “Knowledge will forever govern ignorance . . . well, until now.” (Mark Raffman)

Lin-Manuel Miranda Warning: (to

“You’ll Be Back” from “Hamilton”) You’ll shut up! Close your mouth, Sass the cops and it could all go south. You’ll shut up — do not talk. There’s a chance that they could let you walk. Motions rise, DAs fall; You’ll remain impassive through it all, And when you need support, They will send a public (free!) defender to stand up for you in court! (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)

Dalai Lamazon: Offers enlightenm­ent and wisdom in two days, guaranteed. (Jonathan Jensen,


Dan Snydermati­tis: A rash in which the patient’s skin turns . . . uh . . . rashlike. Also caused by abnormally thin skin. (Frank Mann,


Eminemmanu­el Macron: “Yella vesta protesta / Be a pest ’n’ I’m gonna arrest ya!” (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village)

Eminemily Dickinson: “Hope is the @#$&* thing with feathers.” (Mark Raffman)

LeBron James Joyce: Working on “Finnegans Wake 2: Space Jammier.” (Coleman Glenn, Huntingdon Valley, Pa.)

Lyndon B. Johnson & Johnson: “One and done.” (Greg Dobbins,

Boynton Beach, Fla.)

Madame Curious George: A radioactiv­e monkey escapes into the arms of a man in a yellow hazmat suit. (Laurie Morrison, Rockville;

Josh Feldblyum, Springfiel­d, Pa.)

Marlon Brandonald Trump: “Steallllla!” (Harold Mantle, Walnut Creek, Calif.)

Lewis Carroll of the Bells: “Hark how the bells go dongleding And with a swilvy twankling say, ‘Let all your cares go flarrowing This frabjous Christmas Day!’ ” (Coleman Glenn)

Mister Ed Sheeran: Singing horse who wrote the hit single “Shape of U,” about his favorite shoe. (Jesse


Ogden Nash Equilibriu­m: “Game theory / Makes me weory.” (Daniel

Galef, Tallahasse­e)

RuPaul Bunyan: He’s a lumberjack and he’s okay. (Edward

Gordon, Austin)

Won’t You Be My NeighBoris Johnson: A man leaves his community in a huff, then hangs out next door spreading a virus. (Kevin Dopart, sojourning in Naxos, Greece)

Andrew CuoMotown: “I Heard It Through the Gropevine.” (Bruce

Carlson, Alexandria)

Cuomodo dragon: A nearly extinct lizard that makes a lot of noise and whose touch is repellent. (Henry J.

Aaron, Washington, a First Offender)

Archduke Ferdinand the Bull: His assassinat­ion led to the Wars of the Roses, Lilies, Gardenias and Hyacinths. (Roy Ashley, Washington)

Bonoprah Winfrey: “You get a car! You get a car! U2 get a car!” (Jesse Rifkin, Arlington)

Captain Morgantiva­xxer: “Avast conspiracy!” (Jeff Shirley, Richmond)

Clint Eastwoodsy Owl: “Give a hoot — don’t pollute — or I’ll shoot.” (Jeff Contompasi­s, Ashburn)

CriscOstee­n: Truly inspired by the Lard. (Ellen Raphaeli, Falls Church)

Dirty Harry Belafonte: “Go ahead. Make my day-o, day-ay-o!” (Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.)

Dustin Hoffmanife­st Destiny: “Mrs. Robinson, it is both justified and inevitable that you will seduce me.” (Sara Walsh, Rockville)

Kim KardashIan Fleming: Author of “For Your Eyes Only, Except for Everyone Else Who Saw the Sex Tape” (Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station)

Lauren Boebert Lahr: A cowardly lyin’ congresswo­man. (Chris Doyle)

Mae Westmorela­nd: Led our troops astray in Vietnam. (George Thompson, Springfiel­d, Va.)

George R.R. Martin Luther: He was actually going to write 250 theses. (Hannah Seidel, Alexandria)

George Washington Football Team: First in . . . no, uh . . . hmm . . . never mind. (Mark Turco, McLean)

Jos. A. Banksy: He surreptiti­ously painted the side of a building in a jaunty argyle pattern. (Stephen Dudzik, Olney)

Kamala Harrison Ford: Star of the movie “Air Force Two,” where she foils the terrorists with a bucket of warm spit. (Kevin Dopart)

Meryl Streepteas­e: Starred in “The Devil Wears Nada.” (William Kennard, Arlington)

Scooby-Doobie Brothers: “Ruhroooh, risten to the rusic!” (Coleman Glenn)

Stephen Breyers Ice Cream: The manufactur­er can’t seem to understand when this should go on the shelf. (Duncan Stevens)

And Last: Pat Myers-Briggs Type Indicator: No matter how you take the test, you lose. (Craig Dykstra, Centrevill­e)

More honorable mentions in the online Invite at

Still running — deadline Monday night, Sept. 13: Our contest to find new words in a word search grid. See

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