Hey, (in­sert name of any Amer­i­can city here), want to host the Raiders in 2019?

The Washington Post - - SPORTS - NOR­MAN CHAD

The Oak­land/Los An­ge­les/Oak­land/ Las Ve­gas Raiders are look­ing for a tem­po­rary home for the 2019 NFL sea­son.

At this point, a pop-up sta­dium in Dubai might be in play.

The Raiders — of­ten called “Amer­ica’s Team” be­cause over the past half-cen­tury they have con­tacted ev­ery Amer­i­can mu­nic­i­pal­ity seek­ing a hous­ing deal — are sched­uled to move to a new, ex­pen­sive, al­most-paid­for dome in Las Ve­gas in 2020.

Un­til then, they have been a lame-duck ten­ant at Oak­landAlameda County Coli­seum. How­ever, the city of Oak­land filed a fed­eral an­titrust suit against the Raiders and the NFL over the Las Ve­gas move, and Raiders owner Mark Davis in­di­cated he won’t re­new his lease in Oak­land next sea­son if they are be­ing sued.

(FYI: The Davis fam­ily — Mark is son of the leg­endary, late Raiders owner Al Davis — has a lot of ex­pe­ri­ence in le­gal bat­tles. Since 1980, the team motto is, “Just win in court, baby.”)

All of this leaves the Raiders with a 4-12 team, a $100 mil­lion bob­ble­head coach and no place to play los­ing foot­ball come Septem­ber.

This would be some­what em­bar­rass­ing for the NFL, ex­cept when you con­sider the Los An­ge­les/San Diego/Los An­ge­les Charg­ers are play­ing two sea­sons at a 27,000-seat soc­cer sta­dium near a 7-Eleven in Car­son, Calif.

Mean­while, on the east­ern end of Sports Na­tion, Daniel Sny­der — re­cently voted “worst owner of a Na­tive Amer­i­can­themed fran­chise in New World his­tory” — is in the midst of a 10-year col­lec­tion plate tour of Wash­ing­ton, D.C., Mary­land and Vir­ginia in search of a $1 bil­lion hand­out for a new sta­dium.

Pub­lic of­fi­cials in the DMV are court­ing him while the pub­lic is cas­ti­gat­ing him.

Which brings us back to the Raiders and Davis. Peo­ple mock Davis a lot, but he ap­par­ently cashed in the largest Groupon ever to get his Las Ve­gas fa­cil­ity. Davis not only con­vinced Bank of Amer­ica he was good for a $650 mil­lion loan and the NFL to float him an­other $200 mil­lion, he also fleeced the state of Ne­vada for $750 mil­lion of pub­lic money.

Davis makes Billy the Kid look like Mis­ter Rogers.

For 2019, the Raiders have other Bay Area op­tions — play at Stan­ford or Cal Berke­ley or share the 49ers’ Santa Clara home or the base­ball Gi­ants’ Or­a­cle Park.

There also is the pos­si­bil­ity the Raiders might “hit the road” and play this sin­gle sea­son in farther-flung lo­cales: San Diego — I could have sworn they had an NFL team — or Seat­tle, Phoenix, St. Louis, San An­to­nio, Reno, Nev., or maybe even Fresno, Calif., “the gate­way to Bak­ers­field.”

They could have a be­lated Farewell to South­ern Cal­i­for­nia cam­paign at the Los An­ge­les Me­mo­rial Coli­seum, site of some of the team’s most sto­ried bleacher brawls.

The Raiders and the NFL are also ru­mored to be con­sid­er­ing Lon­don — not Lon­don, Ark., or Lon­don, Ohio, or Lon­don, Ky., but Lon­don, Eng­land. Sure, the NFL al­ready plays there an­nu­ally, but we’re talk­ing about a lo­gis­ti­cal night­mare of eight home games 5,350 miles away from Oak­land, plus the like­li­hood that most Black Hole fans don’t clear British cus­toms.

League sources also in­di­cate three other avant-garde op­tions are be­ing dis­cussed:

Bio­sphere 2 in Ari­zona. A de facto dome, the build­ing was orig­i­nally de­signed to demon­strate an eco­log­i­cal sys­tem to sup­port and main­tain hu­man life in space, quite com­pat­i­ble to sus­tain­ing the Raiders’ front of­fice.

The Pen­tagon in Vir­ginia. If the gov­ern­ment shut­down lasts into the fall, this would be a won­der­ful re­pur­pos­ing of the world’s largest of­fice build­ing, cre­at­ing the NFL’s first fivesided sta­dium. Plenty of park­ing.

Ama­zon ware­house in Ok­la­homa. To boost in­ter­est, sea­son ticket hold­ers could have Ama­zon Prime sub­scrip­tion fees waived and pick up or­ders seat­side at home games.

If all else fails, Davis might pay homage to his dad and see whether Ir­win­dale, Calif., is will­ing to give the team an­other $10 mil­lion cash ad­vance for the pos­si­bil­ity of eight games in town.

Or — who knows? — the Raiders might be the first to Airbnb a sta­dium.

Ask the Slouch

Q. My son and I have counted at least five times this sea­son in which re­play has got­ten a call wrong in a Chiefs game. Can’t you make a phone call and fix this? (John Wag­ner; In­de­pen­dence, Mo.)

A. If they used re­play in 1776, we might still be un­der British rule.

Q. You seem like the kind of guy who can “do the math” — what is the dif­fer­en­tial be­tween dif­fer­ence and dif­fer­en­tial? (Peter Brady; Green­belt, Md.)

A. It is of no con­se­quence, or in­con­se­quen­tial.

Q. Shouldn’t 2019 be the year that au­thors of your col­umn’s ques­tions fi­nally get a raise? If not, can we go to ar­bi­tra­tion? (Gra­ham Vink; Vi­enna, Va.)

A. No raise, no ar­bi­tra­tion and, just for bring­ing up the is­sue, no $1.25 for you!

Q. His ath­leti­cism is over the top. (R. Brendler; Rockville, Md.)

A. Pay the man, Shirley. You, too, can en­ter the $1.25 Ask The Slouch Cash Give­away. Just email ask­thes­[email protected], and if your ques­tion is used, you win $1.25 in cash!

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