Stick to Netflix, Barack, and keep up the fiction, Bubba
Heading into midterm elections in which history predicts massive wins for them, the donkey party has a new slogan: “Vote Democrat. The Party of Doom and Gloom.” First it was ousted House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, now inexplicably serving as Minority Leader in the Wilderness, complaining about Republican tax cuts.
“Crumbs” she called the thousands of dollars hard-working American taxpayers were getting to keep.
This from a San Francisco millionaire who has been a professional politician for more than three decades. She, of course, married rich. No wonder she is so out of touch. Then comes the economic juggernaut sparked by the tax crumbs.
Lowest unemployment in 20 years. For a party so dedicated to slicing and dicing the electorate by race, it must be especially alarming to see unemployment lowest in history for minority groups, such as black and Hispanic workers.
Race-baiting is great, an all, but having a job is awesome!
Of this newly humming economy, Mrs. Pelosi smugly dismissed that “strong unemployment numbers mean little.”
Yeah, you stupid, idiot working taxpayers. If you weren’t such dumb chumps you would have married a millionaire and gotten a cushy job in Congress. For 30 years.
Where on earth do Doomsday Democrats find such ridiculous caricatures to lead them?
Looking back to the good ole days doesn’t seem much more hopeful.
Pervy ex-President Bill Clinton was interviewed and refused to say whether the epic election that ousted his wife from politics and handed Donald Trump the White House was a legitimate election.
“I don’t know” was the best he could muster in an interview peddling a book of fiction — a genre Mr. Clinton has relied upon throughout his political career.
Mr. Clinton also modestly noted that he could not survive in politics today. He is just too pure and decent.
“I couldn’t be elected anything now ‘cause I just don’t like embarrassing people,” he said. “My mother would have whipped me for five days in a row when I was a little boy if I spent all my time badmouthing people like this.”
Well, don’t tell that to any of the women he is accused of molesting, raping, silencing and destroying.
At that his mother would have snickered, I guess.
Meanwhile, the other bright spot of the Democratic Party — Hillary Clinton — is also consumed with endless fictions about why she lost the 2016 election.
And then, finally, there is the erstwhile peddler of Hope and Change. That turned into Grim and Blame during his eight years in office. Now that he and his entire godless agenda has been rejected by voters, Barack Obama has become a washed up, elderly rock star who can no longer play or sing.
Watching the man who would gut his unpopular — not to mention un-Constitutional and un-American — agenda assume office, Mr. Obama reflected: “Sometimes I wonder whether I was 10 or 20 years too early.”
Again, the modesty. Really, sir, you are killing us with your modesty.
Why not just say what you mean? Stupid, racist American taxpayers are too dumb to understand what a great futuristic genius you actually were.
OK. See how that works out. We’ll catch it on Netflix. Promise. Contact Charles Hurt at email@example.com or on Twitter @charleshurt.