One-eyed Chuck and the ex­alted cy­clops bum­bling in the Se­nate

The Washington Times Weekly - - Commentary - BY CHARLES HURT

Just when you were won­der­ing whether Wash­ing­ton, D.C., is still the dumb­est place on earth, along comes Se­nate Mi­nor­ity Leader Chuck Schumer. In the Land of the Blind, the one-eyed man is king, you see. So, Mr. Schumer is king in the Land of Democrats. (One-Eyed Schumer is not, how­ever, to be con­fused with the Se­nate’s “Ex­alted Cy­clops” of the Demo­cratic Party. That white-hooded, one-eyed monster was the ven­er­ated late Sen. Robert C. Byrd of West Vir­ginia, who be­gan his po­lit­i­cal ca­reer as a proud mem­ber of the Ku Klux Klan.)

No longer into pub­licly wear­ing hoods and robes, Mr. Schumer’s low-watt party is now in a frenzy over Pres­i­dent Trump’s de­ci­sion to not bomb Iran af­ter the rogue na­tion shot down one of our sur­veil­lance drones fly­ing in in­ter­na­tional airspace. Mr. Trump’s gen­er­als pre­sented the com­man­der in chief with a plan for re­tal­i­at­ing against Iran, but he de­cided against pulling the trig­ger be­cause too many Ira­ni­ans would have died.

Democrats ac­cuse the pres­i­dent of be­ing dan­ger­ous, im­pe­ri­ous, reck­less and trig­ger­twitchy. (Oh, and racist, too, of course, though Mr. Trump has never been into wear­ing the white sheets that have robed so many Democrats over the gen­er­a­tions.)

So, let’s get this straight. Don­ald Trump is a dan­ger­ous, reck­less mad­man — all be­cause he de­cided NOT to bomb Iran and kill 150 peo­ple?

Th­ese peo­ple are nuts.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was so un­nerved by Mr. Trump’s ma­ni­a­cal be­hav­ior of not bomb­ing a for­eign coun­try that she held a se­cret con­clave of fel­low Democrats be­hind closed doors. Af­ter a while, she emerged, blink­ing into the blind­ing lights, mut­ter­ing in­com­pre­hen­si­ble non­sense.

“We know that the high-ten­sion wires are up there,” she said, star­ing off into space. Blink. Blink. Face spasm. Blink. She kept talk­ing about the “high-ten­sion” wires. She did not ap­pear, how­ever, to be wear­ing a tin­foil hat.

But, still, some­one needs to put out a Sil­ver Alert. Nancy has es­caped the group home again and is mut­ter­ing to strangers about the “high-ten­sion wires” that are “up there.”

Yeah, Don­ald J. Trump is the crazy one. He is the dan­ger­ous one.

This is the same in­sane town that hoists high on a pedestal the late Sen. John McCain, the ex­treme war en­thu­si­ast who once ex­plained the best way to han­dle Tehran by sing­ing new words to the fa­mous Beach Boys tune “Bar­bara Ann”: “Bomb, bomb, bomb — bomb, bomb Iran. Bomb, bomb, bomb — bomb, bomb Iran. Bomb, bomb, bomb — bomb, bomb Ira-a-a-a-a-a-a-n!”

McCain later de­clared that he was “proud” of his whim­si­cal lit­tle mu­si­cal trib­ute to killing Ira­ni­ans and told any­body who might be of­fended to “lighten up.”

Funny thing about the mul­lahs of Iran, though: They don’t tend to “lighten up.” Their tur­bans have been wound pretty tight for the past 40 years.

All of this would be com­i­cally hi­lar­i­ous ex­cept that th­ese peo­ple are in ac­tual po­si­tions of power in Wash­ing­ton. And they do not hes­i­tate to launch real wars.

Take One-Eyed Schumer, for in­stance. To­day, he pub­licly frets that Mr. Trump might “bum­ble” his way into war.

“The pres­i­dent may not in­tend to go to war here, but we’re wor­ried that he and the ad­min­is­tra­tion may bum­ble into a war,” said Mr. Schumer, try­ing to sound like an adult.

But let’s never for­get, this is the same Chuck Schumer who voted to go to war in Iraq back in 2003. Just like Hil­lary Clin­ton and John Kerry and John Ed­wards and 25 other Democrats in the U.S. Se­nate. They voted to go to war — only to flip their minds as soon as the next elec­tion rolled around and Democrats saw an op­por­tu­nity to ad­vance their po­lit­i­cal ca­reers by sud­denly op­pos­ing the war they voted to get us into.

Th­ese peo­ple were per­fectly happy to aban­don our troops on the bat­tle­field for their own po­lit­i­cal con­ve­nience. (It should be re­mem­bered that Sen. Joe Lieber­man of Con­necti­cut was the lone Demo­crat who re­fused to aban­don the war ef­fort they all voted for. And, of course, he was ul­ti­mately driven out of the party over it.)

And now to­day Mr. Schumer has the gall to lec­ture about “bum­bling” into a bad war. “One of the best ways to avoid bum­bling into war — a war that no­body wants — is to have a ro­bust open de­bate and for Congress to have a real say,” he says.

Sure, Congress must vig­or­ously de­bate any new wars, but One-Eyed Schumer is miss­ing the larger les­son from the Iraq War.

The prob­lem isn’t Congress. It’s the peo­ple in it. Peo­ple like him. Con­tact Charles Hurt at [email protected]­ing­ton­ or on Twit­ter @charleshur­t.

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