Good week for:

El Chapo, whose 91-year-old mother has been granted a visa to come visit the convicted drug kingpin in a U.S. prison. Consuelo Loera says she hopes to bring her son his favorite food: her enchiladas. Urban Millennials, and other single people with limited storage space, who can now buy the Charmin Forever Roll, a 12-inchdiameter toilet paper roll that can last up to three months so “you have one less thing to think about!”

Bar fighters, after Texas Gov. Greg Abbott signed into law a bipartisan bill repealing a ban on carrying brass knuckles. The previous ban was “antithetical to our rights to self-defense,” said Democratic State Rep. Joe Moody.