It must be true...

I read it in the tabloids

■ A dentist in Alaska is on trial for allegedly removing a patient’s tooth while standing on a hoverboard. Seth Lookhart carried out the procedure on Veronica Wilhelm while she was heavily sedated, and she was shocked when investigators showed her a video that Lookhart made showing him standing on the self-balancing, twowheel scooter as he worked on her, while boasting that it was “a new standard of care.” He was subsequently charged with reckless endangerment. “I don’t have anything bad to say about taking out my tooth,” said Wilhelm when they met in court. “I just think that what you did was outrageous, narcissistic, and crazy.” ■ Animal rescuers in Las Vegas are perplexed over several pigeons spotted around town wearing small red cowboy hats. “At first, I was like, Oh, my god, that’s cute!” said Mariah Hillman of Lofty Hopes pigeon rescue. “Then I was, Wait a minute, how did they get those hats on there? Did they glue them?” Hillman’s group is trying to round the birds up so the hats can be removed.

■ Residents in a Utah county are facing years of extraordinarily high taxes after a clerical error overvalued a single residence by almost $1 billion. Wasatch County officials theorized that the “horrific” mistake occurred when a staffer dropped a phone on a keyboard while logging assessments. The expectation that the owners of the $987 million mansion—actually a $300,000 house—would pay about $6 million more than they were supposed to resulted in an artificially low tax rate for everyone else. The shortfall will have to be recouped over future years. “An abnormality of almost $1 billion is a big deal,” said County Manager Mike Davis, “and it should have been caught.”