It must be true...

I read it in the tabloids

■■ Two small planes collided in midair above Denver, leaving one nearly ripped in half—but somehow, nobody was hurt. Both were preparing to land at a small airport when they crashed. One pilot successfully landed his severely damaged plane, while the other deployed a parachute that brought the plane to rest in a nearby field. “Every one of these pilots needs to go buy a lottery ticket right now,” said Arapahoe County Sheriff’s Deputy John Bartmann. “I don’t remember anything like this.”

■■ A college baseball pitcher from Sioux Falls, S.D., had his prosthetic arm stolen from his pickup truck but got it back after it was found at a local recycling plant. Parker Hanson took to social media to complain about the theft, and his story was widely shared. So when the arm appeared on a conveyer line, plant worker Tim Kachel “recognized it instantly,” he said. “I was jumping up and down and screaming ‘Stop!’” The arm was too damaged to use, but a Minnesota hospital is donating a replacement. “You never know what you’re going to see coming through this line,” said Kachel.

■■ A wealthy Northern California man had his Tesla impounded after police found him riding in the backseat on the highway with the autopilot engaged—so he went out and bought a new Tesla. Driver Param Sharma insisted that the illegal practice isn’t dangerous, even though Tesla advises against it and at least three people have been killed in autopiloted Teslas. Sharma vowed to continue sitting in the back seat of his new car. “I’m rich as f---,” he said. “Like, if you take my Tesla away, I will get another Tesla.”