Good week for:

Penance, after Jeffrey Toobin, the legal analyst fired last year by The New Yorker for masturbating during a staff video call, returned to CNN’s airwaves with a confession. Not turning off his camera during that call was “deeply moronic,” Toobin conceded. Self-parody, after anti-vaccine activist Sherri Tenpenny told Ohio state lawmakers that Covid vaccines make people “magnetized,” so that keys and forks stick to their foreheads. Another anti-vaxxer tried to prove it by sticking a key to her face, but it kept falling off. Fishing yarns, after Cape Cod lobster diver Michael Packard claimed he was swallowed by a humpback whale while swimming under water. “I felt this huge shove and the next thing I knew it was completely black,” says the modern-day Jonah, who estimates he was in the whale’s mouth for 30-40 seconds before it spat him out.