Lighthouse seminar takes up end-of-life issues
When the Lighthouse Group NWA brokered by Keller Williams Market Pro Realty looked at endof-life issues, many of the questions were directed to funeral director Cito Vargas, who works for Epting Funeral Home. The panel also included Jennifer Neumann with Washington Regional Hospice, Brandi Schneider with Schmeiding Center for Senior Health and Lauren Dallas with Hope Cancer Resources. They spoke to an audience at Concordia Retirement Center on Thursday, Aug. 22.
Moderator Alison Van Hecke described her own experience when her husband’s grandmother passed away. There were many decisions to be made and several family members involved in making them, but her grandmother-inlaw had a plan in place and that made it much easier.
A Five Wishes document is similar to an advanced directive, Dallas said, but goes a little further. She often helps cancer patients consider end-of-life issues by using a Five Wishes document.
She also helps patients by discussing their legacy. Their legacy is often about time spent with family, and she has encouraged projects like family cookbooks that can be left to remind the family of the good times they had together.
Many people experience grief before they lose their loved ones and counseling may be useful, Schneider said. It’s especially difficult for the family of patients with dementia. They grieve over the small losses as their loved one slips away. The Schmeiding Center may be able to help, she said.
Neumann answered questions about hospice, which is sometimes misunderstood. People think a hospice is a place, but more often hospice care happens in the patient’s home and, if patients go to a hospice center, it is so a specific issue can be treated and they may return home afterward.
Personnel at the hospice includes nurses, certified nursing assistants, social workers and chaplains.
Don’t wait for a physician’s referral. Patients can contact a hospice directly and discuss their needs or the needs of their loved ones, she said.
Vargas was the last of the panel to speak. His job is, in part, to help families celebrate the person who has passed away. That is the time to share the legacy, he said.
Preplanning a funeral helps the survivors, who are usually very emotional. If preplanning is done and an individual moves, the plan can be transferred, he said.
People shouldn’t count on life insurance to pay for a funeral. Usually, it takes too long and the funeral home can’t wait. Also, veterans don’t get a free funeral, although some people believe they do. They do get a space in a national cemetery, a headstone, and the fees to open and close the grave, but there are other costs that aren’t covered.
When you deal with a funeral home, it should be able to tell you what the total price will be early in the planning. If it can’t, that’s a red flag, he said.
If a person holds the power of attorney for another person, it ends with the death, Vargas said. The decisions around the funeral aren’t made by the person with the power of attorney; they are made by the next of kin. Sometimes the next of kin isn’t one individual. If the children of the deceased are making the decisions, it’s majority rules even if some of the children are in another state. That’s another reason to consider preplanning, he said.
Funeral homes often work together, Vargas said. If a person dies in a different state and the body must be transported, the funeral home can make the arrangements.
The next Lighthouse seminar event is Sept. 26, when “Living to be 100” is the topic. It will take place at Concordia, beginning at 10:30 a.m.