Teen besties might not be a good match

Dear Amy: I am very upset. I have a best friend, “Lizzie.”

Lizzie and I have been best friends since we attended daycare together, and now we are juniors in high school.

Lizzie has always been bossy. She wants things to be her way.

Lately, it has gotten bad. Lizzie only hangs out with me and gets mad if I hang with other people.

So now it’s always just the two of us. But that’s not the worst part. She has been trying to “jokingly” hold my hand and cuddle.

I don’t want this. I don’t know what to say to her. I just walk away and make up an excuse to go somewhere else.

We’re both girls, which is fine, but this is not me.

I am into guys. I don’t want everyone at school thinking I don’t like guys when they see us together.

She also gets mad when I am interested in anyone else. I don’t know what’s going on.

Is she really just joking? Is she controlling?

— Uncomfortable

Dear Uncomfortable: If

“Lizzie” is isolating you and gets angry and jealous when you hang out with anyone else then yes, this is controlling behavior. This dynamic is not healthy for either of you.

It sounds as if Lizzie has always been the “Alpha” of the two of you, meaning that she dominates the friendship. Now that you’re older, this behavior is getting more extreme, perhaps because she senses or is afraid that she is losing control over you.

No one should touch or try to “cuddle” you if you don’t want them to. You must speak up. Be real and honest: “I don’t want to hold hands.”

You should also try to talk about your friendship. Tell her that she is really important to you, but that you also want to branch out and bring new people into your circle. Encourage her to do the same.

I hope you will be able to be honest and respectful toward Lizzie, but if her behavior intensifies and you’re worried about yourself — or her — you must go to an adult for help.