‘Best of’ column gets major ink

Dear Readers: Every year I step away from my column for two weeks to work on other creative projects. (Anyone interested in my personal essays and photographs can subscribe to my free newsletter: amydickinson.substack.com).

I hope you enjoy these “Best Of” columns from 10 years ago. Today’s topic: Tattoos.

Dear Amy: I want my two best friends to be in my bridal party, however, they both have multiple large tattoos on their arms, chest and back that I think are hideous.

I adore my friends, but when I think of how their tattoos will look in my wedding photos, I cringe.

Should I ask other friends to be bridesmaids instead? Or should I have them in the wedding and have their body art be a major distraction?

I hate to think what my conservative grandparents will think about my tattooed bridesmaids.

— Madison

Dear Madison: I suggest you approach this by being completely upfront, though not using the word “hideous.”

Tell them both: “I’m eager for you to be a bridesmaid, but my grandparents will be freaked out by your ink. Are you willing to wear a body art concealer on the day — or wear dresses with more coverage? I understand if you don’t want to do this. Either way, I want you to be with me on my wedding day.”

When a person agrees to be a bridesmaid, (depending on the style of the wedding) she also agrees to appear in whatever uniform the bride chooses. We all know that bridesmaid dresses are sometimes more unsightly that any tattoo, but on this day “hideous” is a bride’s prerogative. [May 2012]

Dear Amy: Future tattooers: Before you cover yourself with meaningful “artwork,” go visit a senior center. Take a long look at their once-firm flesh, and imagine it covered in unrecognizable ink.

— Susan

Dear Susan: My awesome Uncle Harvey used to show me the battleship he’d had tattooed on his forearm during his time in the Merchant Marines. By the age of 80, that ship had definitely sailed. [September 2012]