Becoming more than friends on Facebook

DEAR AMY >> Do you think it’s normal

(or wise) to meet your Facebook friends?

My husband arranged a dinner with a “friend” he met on Facebook through one of his news sites.

He’s not happy that I didn’t want to attend this meeting.

He arranged another dinner with someone who was a member of his fraternity from college.

I attended this dinner only to find out they didn’t personally know each other!

My “friends” on Facebook are people I know and even if I haven’t seen them in years, I enjoy their news about family and their activities.

To randomly collect friends that you have no personal background with seems desperate and unwise.

DEAR CONCERNED >> Any time you personally connect with a “stranger,” there is some risk involved, but in my opinion, meeting people you’ve gotten to know online is a natural and positive impulse. I’ve done so many times.

Meeting someone who was in your fraternity in college is not a “random” meetup. This is personally connecting with someone with whom you already share some realworld commonality. This is neither desperate nor unwise. It is actually old-school “networking.”

DEAR AMY >> Thank you for seeing both sides of the question posed by “I’ve Got a Secret,” who was keeping his close friendship with his exgirlfriend a secret from his former girlfriend.

I broke off a longstanding friendship with my former boyfriend because of my current boyfriend’s jealousy (we’ve since broken up). It was one of the most painful experiences of my life.

Thank you for encouraging openness, and for asserting anyone’s right to maintain friendships.

DEAR SAD >> It’s a genuinely tough dynamic, which necessitates honesty and trust.