A spacious lobby with free coffee and conversation
“If the Mountain won’t go to Mohammed, then Mohammed must come to the Mountain.” — well-known proverb
As I write, I am sitting in the spacious, serene lobby of a well-known chain hotel back East. Insofar as this is my former hometown, I have a bunch of friends and family members to catch up with. My rental car, a 2022 Chevy Malibu, sits in the parking lot, gathering dust kicked up in the heavy, humid air.
Why is this? Glad you asked.
The simple answer is I’ve unwittingly learned that those people I care most about — apart from the salt of the earth variety in Longmont — are willing to come to me. They like the idea of sitting in a carpeted dining room off the lobby, where we can jawbone and reset our relational footing.
Nice touches abound. They include a gas-fed fireplace, where the dancing flames are mesmerizing. And above it, a big TV screen that plays old Tom Cruise films. Or updated conditions in Denver and Cheyenne from The Weather
Channel. Overall, there’s a palpable buzz produced by a constantly ringing telephone at the front desk and the whooshing sound of the door at the main entrance, just past the circular driveway.
There’s also another selling point that I push: Fresh brew. Free for guests of guests, assures the general manager. “Since you’re our guest, we respect the fact that you, too, have guests,” he explains. (I’m still unclear if that also means my guests can feast on the excellent breakfast — also here in the lobby — creamy scrambled eggs, hash browns, waffles and fresh fruit. Free of charge.)
While I shamelessly promote how comfortable the atmosphere is here, the one question I field more often than most centers on the availability of beverages. This is completely understandable, since the typical conversation(s) can stretch deep into the night. With coffee’s stimulating chemicals, we will likely be consuming at least two cups each before crash landing.
“Do you have coffee in the lobby?” comes the hopeful inquiry.
“We have coffee!” I reply, the excitement building
in my voice like an overcaffeinated journalistturned-“lobbyist.”
“So I take that as yes?” they repeat, grappling for clarity.
I say, “Yes, we are good. We have a huge pot of the stuff!”
“Got it. There’s free coffee at the hotel, right? Is that the deal?”
Again, I remind them that there is free coffee. “We have almost as much as Brazil, Costa Rica and El Salvador combined have beans.”
Silence. Awkward silence. “Lemme get this straight. The hotel, part of a big company, no less, is willing to offer guests of its guests free java? What’s their angle? Why the capitalistic generosity?”
What we have here is a
staggering failure to communicate, I think I mumble.
More time to let that be absorbed. “OK, if what you’re saying is correct, I’ll drive over.”
“Great!” I respond, with as much positive energy as I can muster. “See you when, in an hour?”
“You know, I don’t mind stopping at Starbucks and bringing my own coffee, if there’s a problem.”
“There’s really no problem,” I say, reassuringly. “No need for apologies. That’s the policy here.
It is what it is. Come on over. I’ll prove it to you.”
While the lobby of my hotel, any hotel, certainly is a repository of specific requests posed by the legion of daily visitors, all I have to do is sit here for more than a handful of seconds before getting a whiff of what’s on their minds.
A sampling:
“My girlfriend and I live in New Hampshire. We eloped this afternoon. Are you guys on Eastern Time, too? Also, do you guys have rooms available?”
Over the annoying ding ding ding of successive phone calls, I hear this: ”We do have rooms, but not tonight. But normally, we ask that you book online.”
The newly minted husband seems confused as his new bride stands safely behind her man.
“So I wouldn’t be able to book a room tonight, although, as I hear this, you have a vacancy tonight? Why is that?”
“The reason, sir, is the hotel’s water has been turned off all day.the water heater burst. The plumber says he fixed the problem this morning, but it blew again after he left. Something about the wrong flange he used to hold the pipes together.
Whatever. Not sure what a ‘flange’ is. Don’t take my word for it. I just do this part time. I’m still in college.”
Dead silence. Awkward, pregnant pause. ”So even if you have a room to give me, us, my new wife and me, there’s no point taking it because there’s no running water?”
“Yes, sir. But the plumber is on his way back to fix it once and for all. We apologize for the inconvenience.”
There’s a silver lining to this story. A nuanced look at the good that can emerge from the nearchaos.
First, I had a golden opportunity to break bread with people I haven’t seen in two or three years. Moreover, since they were willing to make pilgrimages to where I am and not meet up at a sit-down restaurant where they actually (the nerve!) charge
for coffee, remember, they were my guests, the guests of the guests, which entitled them to bottomless cups. No tip required. Breaking news.
As I write, the overwhelmed young lady at the front is informing guests that they will receive a free night’s stay. That will come as a relief for all of us. Going without a precious resource like water is nothing to be taken for granted. This is a daily fact of life in Colorado, where there’s still not a working definition of “water rights.”
Along with being given a refreshingly unexpected break on the room, the management is liberally handing out free bottled water, the Niagara brand, or whatever.
All good. And of course, the disappearing plumber, if he ever arrives tonight, likely charges double for nighttime emergencies. So it’s
a win-win for the economy!
We just scooped up four bottles. In non-emergency situations, each bottle at the front desk costs $4. Four times four equals 16. Not a bad little haul for customers trying to find meaning in an otherwise ordinary, moonlit Monday in late winter.
Meanwhile, if another family member or pal shows up in the morning, and the water is still a no-show, this is what will happen. “Since I am a guest of a guest, I take it it would be OK if I can grab a complimentary bottle of water sitting over there on the shelf? I want to make free coffee with it.”