Parents struggle to handle child’s stress

DEAR AMY >> My son is 8 years old and is very talkative and inquisitive. He asks lots of “why” questions that don’t always coincide with the current conversation, but are about a previous topic.

His two reading teachers have said that he is disrespectful and does not participate enough in class.

We have talked about this — both with the teachers and with him. He comes home with complete papers, does well on spelling tests and is above grade level on reading assessments.

What they say and what we see coming home doesn’t make sense. We have asked for examples of situations when he’s disrespectful so we can talk to him about it, but the teachers become vague and won’t give an example.

His other teachers say he is kind and helpful, while also being a bit too talkative, but they say he is on track and doing well.

We want to help solve the issue with his reading teachers, but can’t seem to get straight answers. He comes home crying sometimes because his reading teachers seem to react so negatively to him. He’s a good kid (an only child) and we don’t feel he’s disrespectful at home.

He is very creative, artistic, and generally a happy and easygoing boy. Any advice on how to tackle this? My mother-in-law says to just let it go because he’s fine, but I don’t know. I’m worried that I’m just not seeing something, and this is uncharted territory for me.

DEAR UNCHARTED >> Your son’s teachers are telling you that your son has problems — or creates problems — in their classroom. Without details or examples, you don’t have any way to coach your son toward improved behavior. It is ironic (to say the least) that his reading teachers communicate so poorly.

You should start by emailing both of the teachers. Thank them for teaching your son and explain simply and briefly that you are eager to help resolve some of the issues they’ve raised. You should also kick this issue upstairs to the academic counselor and/or principal.

This is a critical stage for your son. He could emerge as a lively little boy who is excited to learn, or a frustrated child who doesn’t like going to school.