The solution to bovine gas is BS

Every time I think things can’t get any weirder, I’m wrong. The March 31 paper had a front page article on Sen. Bennet and cattle emissions. Those who voted for this idiot, I hope you’re happy with what you got. The plan is to spend money to try and eliminate cow burps and farts. The answer to the problem is right in the first few paragraphs. These animals digest their food by fermenting it in their stomachs. It doesn’t work any other way. When you ferment something, gas is created, and it’s got to go somewhere. Just like that bean and egg burrito you had this morning. Maybe the answer is to starve all cows, sheep, goats, etc. Once they’re dead, there will be no emissions, and the world will be a better place. There will also be no milk or cheese, not to mention cheeseburgers.

I suppose we could look at raising bison en masse instead. They’re native and natural. Probably a little harder to milk, but doable if you’re dedicated enough. The problem is they’re also ruminants, so we need to get rid of them, as well. The indigenous peoples lobby may want to argue that though. Something about been there, done that.

The article quoted a purported expert saying several companies are working on solutions, but she couldn’t discuss them. Really? Is that because the solutions are BS? I think we and our wallets would be better off trimming Bennet. We would save money, but I guess the entertainment value from our elected officials would be lower. If you buy into this crock, you will be extremely excited to learn about Joe Biden and Jared Polis’ new emissions plan: the PP4PP. Coming soon to all Coloradans and maybe the nation.

— Marion R. Hill, Longmont