Sorry, but you’re never going to win the Mega Millions

That Mega Millions jackpot — hoo boy.

Sorry you didn’t win the $1.3 billion, but of course you didn’t, as the odds of winning the big prize were 302.5 million to 1.

And while we can intellectualize that number — for instance, there are 329.5 million American citizens, which means the odds of winning any Mega Millions drawing is roughly the same as picking out a random American — it still doesn’t necessarily make the math come alive, you know?

So — with the help of Stacker.com, which compiled this list so I don’t have to — here are some other longshot events (and how many times they might happen to you in your lifetime before you win a Mega Millions jackpot.)

Granted, these numbers are a bit skewed, because you might hit your jackpot on your 100,000,000th ticket. So think of it like this: We have an infinite time to win an infinite number of jackpots, and each of the following things would happen xx number of times, statistically speaking, over the long haul while you wait for your numbers to come up again.)

Struck by lightning: According to the National Weather Service, you have a one in 1,530 shot at being struck by lightning in your lifetime. Break that down, and you can expect to be struck by lighting nearly 200,000 times in your life with the same regularity of winning the Mega Millions.

Finding a four leaf clover: About one in 10,000 clovers is of the quad-leaf variety, according to the website. Translation: You’ll find about 30,000 four-leaf clovers for every Mega Millions jackpot you take down.

Dying in a shark attack: That’s a one in 7 million shot, which means you’re going to be Jaws’ dinner 43 times for every check you get for a billion dollars.

Dying in a car accident: This number — one in 107 over the course of your lifetime — is downright scary. You would think by now we’d have come up with ways to dramatically reduce that total. I mean really: You have roughly a 1% chance of being killed in an auto accident. That’s bonkers. Which means for every time you win a Mega Millions lottery, you’ll have perished over 2.8 million times on the road.

Seconds in a year: This isn’t even from Stacker, but I started looking around, and dig this: There are more than 31.5 million seconds in a year, meaning that if you bought one Mega Millions ticket every second, nearly 11 years would tick by for every winning ticket you would have purchased.

Minutes: And if you bought one ticket each minute? Forget it. There are 525,600 minutes in a year, meaning it would take 575 years of buying a ticket a minute to expect to earn a profit playing Mega Millions.

An hour: Now we’re just being silly. Buy a ticket an hour, and it would take about 35,000 years to reach expected value. To give some idea of how long 35,000 years is: It’s about as long as “The Simpsons” has been on the air. Really long.

Death by bee: Odds are about 60,000 to 1. Meaning: Expect to be killed to death by bees about 5,000 times before you eke out a profit playing Mega Millions.

Being dealt a royal flush: I mean, we’re just getting silly. The odds of being dealt a royal flush are 649,740 to 1. Meaning, you’ll get dealt a royal flush 465 times for every time you win the Mega Millions.

So: Good luck if you want to keep playing the lottery.