Cel­e­brat­ing her teen son’s suc­cess

Times-Herald (Vallejo) - - YOUR DAILY BREAK - Amy Dick­in­son — My Son’s Mom — Up­set You can con­tact Amy Dick­in­son via email: askamy@amy­dick­in­son. com and fol­low her on Twit­ter @ask­ingamy.

DEAR AMY » My son had a rocky start to high school, in­clud­ing par­tic­i­pat­ing in an event that led to ju­ve­nile de­ten­tion and com­mu­nity ser­vice.

He went above and be­yond his com­mu­nity ser­vice, spend­ing more than the re­quired hours scoop­ing poop at a horse fa­cil­ity that serves hand­i­capped chil­dren.

He has turned his life around, and while still do­ing dumb 17year-old stuff, it looks like he will grad­u­ate on time. He has preen­listed in the Marines.

I want very much to an­nounce his grad­u­a­tion to his at­tor­ney, ther­a­pist, pro­ba­tion of­fi­cers and oth­ers who were part of his rocky start.

I RE­ALLY don’t want this to ap­pear as a gift re­quest, but I want to ac­knowl­edge those that made the event pos­si­ble.

Can you sug­gest ver­biage to con­vey that gifts are not re­quired, but thank those pro­fes­sion­als that made his suc­cess pos­si­ble?

DEAR MOM » Wow, don’t over­think this. You should ap­proach this as a thank-you mes­sage, con­vey­ing: “all hail and hal­lelu­jah, it looks like this young man will cross the fin­ish line!”

Reach out to each of th­ese people with a note (or email), ac­knowl­edg­ing their ef­forts and com­pas­sion to­ward your son.

Tell them that you are so grate­ful that “the sys­tem” worked for this one young man.

If you send a writ­ten note, send a copy to their su­per­vi­sor. If you send an email, for­ward it to the su­per­vi­sor.

Let them know: “You do a very tough job. I hope you will be grat­i­fied to learn that my son has com­pleted his com­mu­nity ser­vice, has gone above and be­yond in rec­og­niz­ing the im­pact of his ac­tions on oth­ers, and seems to have turned his life around. He never would have got­ten there with­out your ef­forts, and we are so grate­ful. I’m very proud to tell you that he will be grad­u­at­ing on time (fin­gers crossed) and has preen­listed in the Marine Corps.”

If your son would like to fol­low up with a printed grad­u­a­tion an­nounce­ment with his hand-writ­ten: “I made it! Thank you!” on the card, I guar­an­tee it will be posted in the break room.

No one will think you are trolling for gifts.

DEAR AMY » Your alarmed re­sponse to the ques­tion from “New­ly­wed” was truly bizarre. Her hus­band was be­ing pos­ses­sive. They worked to­gether, and he wanted to con­tinue to work with her. He didn’t want to go to work with­out her and didn’t want her to change jobs.

Maybe this guy just re­ally loves his wife! Your an­swer sug­gested that he was some kind of mon­ster!

DEAR UP­SET » I gen­uinely hope I was over­re­act­ing to this. But where you saw de­vo­tion, I saw con­trol. Con­trol and pos­ses­sive­ness are not love.

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