Times-Herald (Vallejo)

Some people put Amy in a corner

- Amy Dickinson

DEAR READERS >> In my (almost) 17 years of writing the Ask Amy column, I have been seriously, thoroughly, and publicly pranked two times.

I assume I might have been fooled with other “faux” problems, but the following question created viral gotcha moments that, while embarrassi­ng for me, were highly entertaini­ng for the scores of readers who immediatel­y recognized the spoofing. I reacted by owning my gullibilit­y and doing my very best to laugh along with my readers.

I rerun one of those questions (and my original answer) today, with the reminder that — even in this very serious world we inhabit — it’s important not to take yourself too seriously.

At the end of this column, I’ll reveal the original source this problemati­c plotline.

I’ll be back with original Ask Amy Q and A next week.

DEAR AMY >> I have a serious problem with my future wife. She has not been faithful to me. I recently overheard her talking to her friend about how she was unfaithful to me. When I confronted her, all that she said was that she couldn’t talk right now. I feel like I have to record everything in my own house just to learn the truth.

To make things even more stressful is the fact that she recently told a couple of people that I hit her, but it’s not true. I did not hit her. I’m not sure why she has been acting like this lately. She did just find out that her mother has breast cancer, and that might be playing a role in her behavior.

We still always find time to make love, so I don’t know why she would go out seeking it from someone else. I just can’t believe she would do this to me. I love her so much, she is my everything, and I don’t know that I could go on without her. She is tearing me apart.

What should I do?

— Devastated

DEAR DEVASTED >> The first thing you should do is to NOT get married. Your fiancee’s behavior and your response are the very essence of dysfunctio­n. If you are correct and she is stepping out on you, this is a huge problem. Your declaratio­n that you feel like you “have to record everything ... just to learn the truth” is chilling. Her counter-accusation that you hit her is potentiall­y very dangerous for you.

Because of an escalation in behavior I sense in both of you — and the seemingly toxic connection between you two — it would be wisest for you to separate. Seek the support of close friends, family, and a profession­al counselor to help you deal with this loss and change.

July 2015

DEAR READERS >> The first question (from “Devastated,”) is from the cult movie “The Room,” which is widely beloved and possibly the worst movie ever made.

The question from “Feeling Foolish” is based on a famous “Seinfeld” plotline co-starring Yankee star Keith Hernandez.

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