Some peo­ple put Amy in a cor­ner

Times-Herald (Vallejo) - - COMMUNITY - Amy Dick­in­son

DEAR READ­ERS >> In my (al­most) 17 years of writ­ing the Ask Amy col­umn, I have been se­ri­ously, thor­oughly, and pub­licly pranked two times.

I as­sume I might have been fooled with other “faux” prob­lems, but the fol­low­ing ques­tion cre­ated vi­ral gotcha mo­ments that, while em­bar­rass­ing for me, were highly en­ter­tain­ing for the scores of read­ers who im­me­di­ately rec­og­nized the spoof­ing. I re­acted by own­ing my gulli­bil­ity and do­ing my very best to laugh along with my read­ers.

I re­run one of those ques­tions (and my orig­i­nal an­swer) to­day, with the re­minder that — even in this very se­ri­ous world we in­habit — it’s im­por­tant not to take your­self too se­ri­ously.

At the end of this col­umn, I’ll re­veal the orig­i­nal source this prob­lem­atic plot­line.

I’ll be back with orig­i­nal Ask Amy Q and A next week.

DEAR AMY >> I have a se­ri­ous prob­lem with my fu­ture wife. She has not been faith­ful to me. I re­cently over­heard her talk­ing to her friend about how she was un­faith­ful to me. When I con­fronted her, all that she said was that she couldn’t talk right now. I feel like I have to record ev­ery­thing in my own house just to learn the truth.

To make things even more stress­ful is the fact that she re­cently told a cou­ple of peo­ple that I hit her, but it’s not true. I did not hit her. I’m not sure why she has been act­ing like this lately. She did just find out that her mother has breast can­cer, and that might be play­ing a role in her be­hav­ior.

We still al­ways find time to make love, so I don’t know why she would go out seek­ing it from some­one else. I just can’t be­lieve she would do this to me. I love her so much, she is my ev­ery­thing, and I don’t know that I could go on with­out her. She is tear­ing me apart.

What should I do?

— Dev­as­tated

DEAR DEV­ASTED >> The first thing you should do is to NOT get mar­ried. Your fi­ancee’s be­hav­ior and your re­sponse are the very essence of dys­func­tion. If you are cor­rect and she is step­ping out on you, this is a huge prob­lem. Your dec­la­ra­tion that you feel like you “have to record ev­ery­thing ... just to learn the truth” is chill­ing. Her counter-ac­cu­sa­tion that you hit her is po­ten­tially very dan­ger­ous for you.

Be­cause of an es­ca­la­tion in be­hav­ior I sense in both of you — and the seem­ingly toxic con­nec­tion be­tween you two — it would be wis­est for you to sep­a­rate. Seek the sup­port of close friends, fam­ily, and a pro­fes­sional coun­selor to help you deal with this loss and change.

July 2015

DEAR READ­ERS >> The first ques­tion (from “Dev­as­tated,”) is from the cult movie “The Room,” which is widely beloved and pos­si­bly the worst movie ever made.

The ques­tion from “Feel­ing Fool­ish” is based on a fa­mous “Se­in­feld” plot­line co-star­ring Yan­kee star Keith Her­nan­dez.

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