Not a Bridezilla, but may be a Friendzilla

DEARAMY>> In March of 2020, right before the pandemic hit, I got married.

I was considered a Bridezilla (I disagree); I was just very set on planning my own wedding with my husband, and we didn’t want or take others’ suggestions.

I have seen my own family and friends settle for what those around them wanted instead of what they wanted.

As I was planning my wedding, my two best friends since junior high school made it very clear what I should or shouldn’t do.

I was very clear with them that my husband and I were planning our wedding together, without any other input, although as we were planning, I would offer certain information about what we were planning.

The day of wedding, it was a mess. My wedding planner never showed up (there is more to that, but that’s another story).

I was told that as the reception was going on, both of my friends were upset at me for not making either of them my maid of honor.

They decided that it was OK to talk smack about me — with family and friends around who could overhear them.

At this point, my question is should I pursue a friendship with them, or should I just let a 25-year friendship go?

It’s been over a year and I have only talked to one and she’s just using me to vent about what’s going on in her life. I want to just end it, but I miss the relationship

we had with each other.

What should I do? — Anonymous Exfriend

DEAR ANONYMOUS: FIRST, A WED

DING PRO-TIP >> If you want to plan your wedding privately and don’t want people to chime in on your plans, then don’t discuss your plans.

Next, an observation: I am surprised (and yet, not-at-all-surprised) that, having experienced a global pandemic that has exposed all of us to actual life-and-death decisions regarding relationships you are still replaying, reviewing, and relitigating your disappointment from last year.

If you want to try to move your junior high relationships into the adult realm, then you should start by behaving like a thoughtful, considerate, authentic adult.

If it’s true that these friends were trashing you at your wedding reception, then you should assume that they don’t necessarily wish you well.

You have spoken to one friend over the last year but don’t seem to have expressed your disappointment in her behavior.

I’ve seen variations of this quote floating around on the internet: “Friends come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.”

If these friends were in your life for a season, then you should understand that the seasons have changed, and it’s time to move on.