SENSE & SENSITIVTY
Family treats sick reader like a pariah
DEAR HARRIETTE: I came down with a stomachache and sore throat recently, most likely based on something that I ate. But my stomach hurt so bad that I went to the doctor. Because I had had a fever one night when the pain was extra bad, the doctor made me get a COVID-19 test before I could do anything else. I waited for three days for it to come back, at home with my family. I already didn’t feel well, and then everybody started acting like I was going to kill them. My family accused me of making them ill because I went to the grocery store and maybe I exposed them to the virus. My friends scolded me for not being careful enough when I have gone outside — which is hardly ever. I go to the grocery store and for walks occasionally just to stretch my legs, always wearing a mask. I didn’t appreciate how hostile they were. Anyway, I just got the results back — NEGATIVE. But I’m still mad at how my loved ones treated me. Should I say something or just get over it?
COVID Insanity
DEAR COVID INSANITY: People are scared. From medical professionals to the people living in your house, there is legitimate fear about contracting COVID19. Especially now, when the death toll is well over 400,000 in the United States and the variants in England and South Africa threaten to be more contagious and more deadly, people are worried. You got the brunt of that worry.
I suggest letting it go that your family reacted intensely. Continue to be vigilant in wearing your mask, keeping your hands clean and maintaining distance. Don’t slack off on any of the basic protocols. And make an appointment to figure out what is wrong with you if the symptoms haven’t subsided.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I used to get so frustrated with one of my longtime friends. It seems like the only time he reaches out to me is when he needs something. If he thinks someone could use my advice or he wants me to help somebody do something, he’s Johnny-on-the-spot. I wish he would just call to check on me and see how I’m doing. I have figured out that he thinks that he is showing his love for me by creating these relationships. I’ve had enough. How can I get my point across that I want all of these favors to stop?
Enough
DEAR ENOUGH: Speak directly to your friend. Tell him that you want to be able to talk occasionally when the time is right, but you do not have the bandwidth to manage all the people he sends your way. Tell him you miss him — not the basket of folks he constantly leaves at your doorstep. Acknowledge that you believe he does this because he appreciates you. Tell him that what you want from him is him — not them.