SENSE & SENSITIVTY
Blocked journalist looks for writing inspiration
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m a journalist who commonly gets writer’s block. I’ve been writing fewer articles recently because I just don’t have anything to write about anymore. I’m starting to dread writing. What would you suggest I do when I’m not feeling inspired to write?
Writer’s Block
DEAR WRITER’S BLOCK: Remember that writing is your job and therefore your responsibility. Approach it with the same respect that you would offer to any other job: You have to show up on time with enthusiasm and do the work — even when you don’t feel like it.
As far as the mechanics of writing, I recommend creating a discipline that you follow each day. Choose a time when you sit down and write, and stick to it. Literally sit in front of your computer and start typing. Pick a topic. If you have an assignment, choose that. If you can pick anything you want, choose something simple, like recounting your day or even writing about the writer’s block that seems to be crippling you. Create writing exercises that push you to think and take action. Make them fun — or at least interesting. For example, write a whole essay about what you ate for breakfast. Break down the elements of your meal, who prepared it, how long it took, where the ingredients came from, what dish and flatware you used, how many calories it contained, how it tasted, whether you would eat it again, whether you eat it every day, etc. Go all in as you write about your meal, your most recent telephone conversation, the worst argument you ever had, the effect COVID-19 has had on your life and other timely or obscure topics. That should help spark your creativity.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m not the best at expressing my emotions verbally, and my boyfriend is someone who needs a lot of affirmation. I think I was raised to suppress a lot of my feelings. Certain displays of affection make me cringe. I am not someone who requires a lot of affirmation to feel loved. I show affection through acts of service and quality time, not through words. Every argument we’ve gotten into so far has been because I wasn’t the best at saying exactly how I feel. How can I get better at expressing love verbally?
Quiet Girlfriend
DEAR QUIET GIRLFRIEND: Start by telling your boyfriend how you naturally communicate. Point out that you prefer to show rather than tell your feelings. Let your boyfriend know that the way you demonstrate your interest and affection is through actions rather than words. Note things that you have done that illustrate this so that he has concrete examples of your interest in him.
Offer to be more verbal since he seems to need that, but don’t promise something that will be hard for you to deliver. The two of you have to come to an understanding of each other and what makes each of you tick. You can strive to say out loud how you feel about him more often. In turn, he needs to be more observant of your actions and notice when you do things that show how much you care.