SENSE & SENSITIVTY

Friend’s sky-high heels ruin evening

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went out to dinner with a couple my husband and I like a lot. We got dressed up, which was a lot of fun. But my friend had on such uncomfortably high heels that she could hardly walk. It was a nice evening, and we wanted to stroll a little bit, but honestly, she could hardly go 10 steps without complaining. Don’t get me wrong — I love fashion, and it’s so much fun to dress up, especially now when we have been cooped up in the house for so long. But it seems stupid to me to wear shoes that you can’t walk in at all. I didn’t do that when I was a teenager, and I’m surely not going to start doing it now.

We ended up not being able to take our little stroll. Our date night ended fairly abruptly because all my friend could do was stand on the corner while her husband went to get the car. What’s worse is she didn’t think there was anything wrong with her being unable to walk. I thought it was ridiculous. I guess she could see the expression on my face, because she rolled her eyes and didn’t talk to me anymore. What do I even do with that? Should I call her? What in the world would I say? I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings, but the whole thing was just absurd.

Too High

DEAR TOO HIGH: Leave this one alone. Your friend realized that she put herself in an awkward situation. She doesn’t need you to remind her of that. I love fashion, too, but it sounds like this woman took it a bit far. A solution for anyone who just really wants to wear that fancy heel on date night is to bring along a tiny pair of flats. That way you can still walk around freely when necessary.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, my husband and I have been hanging out with two other couples. Unfortunately, we have figured out that we cannot afford to hang with them. They are high rollers — for real. They drive luxury sports cars, drink expensive champagne and go out regularly on extremely expensive dates. We went out with them once, and they picked up the tab, so I didn’t even think about how much it cost.

Last weekend we went out and agreed to split the bill. Our share was nearly $1,000. Nuh-uh. We do not have it like that — at all. How can we stay friends with these people if we cannot afford to spend time with them?

Too Rich for My Blood DEAR TOO RICH FOR MY BLOOD: You can handle this in one of two ways. You can stop going out with them and instead invite them to do things at home, where you can manage the expenses. You can invite them over for dinner or cocktails on occasion.

You can also be straight with them. Tell them how much you enjoy their company, but you cannot afford to hang the way they do. Agree that you will see each other occasionally — and that’s that. There’s no need for you to feel bad that you cannot afford the extravagances that are their everyday lives. As long as you are comfortable in your own skin, you are good.