Teen is troubled by bouts of anxiety

DEAR AMY » I am a teenager, struggling with school issues, anxiety, and worries about where I want to go in life.

I have been experiencing panic attacks since seventh grade. My parents have been very supportive, but they don’t want me to get counseling. They believe I should try to deal with my hyperventilation and stress issues myself before we transition to the medical side of things. I respect this, and I understand their views. I’m asking you for help because your advice could just give me a push in the right direction.

When I confront a challenge, I usually just become angry and want to give up. I get stressed at the smallest things and I’m very sensitive.

Usually, I release my anger by crying and complaining, which eventually leads to panic attacks. For me, the transition from middle school to high school was very hard — more kids, harder classes, people growing up too quickly, etc.

I don’t like high school and I tend to find myself becoming nostalgic about the past. I have a lot of friends that moved to different schools, which is also tough for me.

Although I am willing to take on the workload of more challenging classes, I usually find myself so incredibly unhappy that I cannot do my best work in school.

I’ve tried many stressrelieving techniques — deep breathing, yoga, and meditation — but they just don’t seem to work. What can I do to overcome my anxiety? — Stressed

DEAR STRESSED » Your parents seem to associate counseling with medication, but counseling involves talking, strategizing, confronting, and coaching — and not necessarily medication.

I am impressed that you are trying so hard to tackle this on your own, but yes, you would benefit from counseling, and I hope that your parents support you getting professional help to deal with your anxiety. Any treatment should start with a thorough professional assessment. Your school psychologist or counselor would be a good first stop for you.

Being a teenager is tough. Being a teenager with anxiety is tougher. All of the new experiences and challenges coming your way can seem overwhelming. Instead of sorting through your busy days and putting thoughts and feelings in some kind of manageable order, your anxious brain is on high-alert and is racing faster than it should.

Your school counselor or library should have a copy of “My Anxious Mind: A Teen’s Guide to Managing Anxiety and Panic,” by Michael A. Tompkins and Katherine A. Martinez. Both authors are counselors who work with teens, teaching effective strategies for confronting that anxious bully in your brain. You are not alone, and this book (and others written for teens) will help.