Words of wisdom from Mister Rogers, pastor
Week One of these unsettling times behind us, and I have to admit, after the initial anxious flutter of having all three kids at home 24/7, and now facing the uncertainty of Hubby’s work (his hours were cut 20%), what I can say hasn’t come to pass is total isolation for our family of five.
We haven’t lost our school life, our church life, our family and community life. As my daughter’s principal said, “Our classrooms may be remote, but our community isn’t.”
Every day, beautiful faces abound on our computer screens via Google classroom and Zoom and video chats. I can join livestreams left and right (remembering to mute my mic.) I apologize to all for my spectacled, bedraggled, pajama’ed look at times, but that isn’t because of the COVID-19 crisis. That is a regular look for me.
Happily, I can also still stay in touch with my newspaper peeps. Six days before all this, I had asked Rev. Karen Davis, pastor of First Christian Church of Glendora, and all-around outstanding person, to share news about Empty Bowls, a fundraiser they have at First Christian that helps the hungry as well as local food banks.
But of course she addressed current affairs. Here’s what she had to say:
A few weeks ago, a package of Bounty paper towels would be just that — a package of paper towels. However, since the pandemic of the new coronavirus has begun to dominate and dictate our daily lives, a roll of paper towels has come to mean several things.
Today, for me, it has come to mean a random act of kindness. This morning, one of my neighbors came by to ask if our family was OK and if we had everything we needed. I told him that we were fine, yet he persisted with asking if we had toilet paper and paper towels.
As a result, he ended up bringing us a roll of paper towels. Right now, at this moment in history, in addition to social distancing, good personal hygiene (wash your hands!), and protecting the most vulnerable in our communities, we need to be kind. Practicing random acts of kindness can give us hope and provide the resilience we need to make our way through this pandemic.
One of the popular children’s shows of my childhood, (yes, they did have television in the Stone Age, albeit black and white TV), was “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood.” Fred Rogers was an ordained Presbyterian minister and his “assignment” was to minister to children and families. And that he did.
We might laugh at some of his clichés and “hokiness,” but he did have some pearls of wisdom now and then. Even in the 1960s, he warned parents that the media could become overwhelming with bad news and negativity.
Some of his advice has found its way to the forefront once again: ‘When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’
“‘To this day, especially in times of disaster, I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers — so many caring people in this world.’”
Good advice, and a message that we can all take to heart. Look for the good around you; be the good. As we make our way through the days, weeks and possibly the months ahead, there are a few things we can do to remain healthy mentally, and to help our families, and humanity.
1. Separate what is in your control from what is not. There are things you can do, and it’s helpful to focus on those. Wash your hands. Remind others to wash theirs. Take your vitamins.
We have to act as our own gatekeepers if we want to stay sane. As the experts say, we have to self regulate our consumption of information and not overload. Limit your intake of news and social media. Stay informed but no need for saturation.
2. You can allow yourself to feel bad. It is OK to feel bad; it shows that you are human, and that you are compassionate. Talk about it with others and be honest about your feelings, whether it be sadness, anger, fear or a variety of other emotions, talk about it. Find healthy ways to find comfort and relieve stress.
Do what helps you feel a sense of safety (of course within reason). This will be different for everyone, and it’s important not to compare yourself to others. If you find you need help, ask for it. It is OK to seek support and guidance.
3. Get outside in nature — even if you are avoiding crowds. Take a walk, get outdoors. If the sun is shining, you can get a dose of vitamin D. Exercise also helps both your physical and mental health.
4. Challenge yourself to stay in the present. Perhaps your worry is compounding: You are not only thinking about what is currently happening but also projecting into the future. When you find yourself worrying about something that hasn’t happened, gently bring yourself back to the present moment.
I was a young mother of one when I first met Rev. Davis. Back then, she was not only a new pastor but also mothering twins. (She celebrates 27 years at First Christian this year, and 37 years in ministry.) To me, then and now, she was a beacon of possibility: if she could manage and thrive (with twins, no less!) so could I.
Almost 20 years later, and I look to her again. Hope doesn’t disappoint. Neither does she.
Anissa V. Rivera is columnist for Pasadena StarNews, San Gabriel Valley Tribune, Whittier Daily News, Azusa Herald, Glendora Press and West Covina Highlander San Dimas/La Verne Highlander Southern California News Group, 605 E. Huntington Drive, Suite 100, Monrovia, CA 91016, 626-497-4869.