Strange accusation roils friendship
DEAR AMY » Out of the blue, my best friend of 45 years called to tell me something “uncomfortable” that had been bothering her for about 20 years.
She declared that over the past 20 years or so, my husband and I had asked her to join us in a “threesome” multiple times.
I was stunned, and asked her what she was talking about. She said that many times over dinner, we had been whispering together and then made suggestions to her that we wanted to have sex with her.
She said she couldn’t remember any specifics.
My husband and I are very flirty together, but I can’t imagine we ever said or did anything untoward.
She had no explanation for why she continued to visit us without saying anything.
First of all, we have never entertained this idea — with anyone.
She said I was her best friend, but she didn’t feel “like that” about me and began to cry. I said I didn’t feel that way about her, either.
I told her I understood that she was feeling very upset, but what she was suggesting never happened. She then insisted that I take responsibility.
I honestly thought that she might be having a breakdown. Her life has been challenging for the last few years, and she seems to be floundering.
I’m reluctant to write her off completely due to our very long history, but I’m shocked and angry, and I’ll never allow her in my house again.
My husband is done with her. Can this friendship be saved?
DEAR CROWD » No, I don’t think this friendship can be saved — at least in its previous form.
Because this accusation seems so out of bounds, you might assume that she is experiencing some cognitive changes that have brought on emotional instability and this strange accusation.
I hope you can see your way to adopt a compassionate stance toward her. Do not admit to something you haven’t done, but do not write her off.
Express concern for her and urge her to get a medical checkup.
DEAR AMY » Do not give any advice about the COVID virus. In a response to a question from “Recovering in the Pacific NW,” you said that people could get this virus twice. That is not true! Latent virus might stay in the body and the illness might reappear — this is not being re-infected.
DEAR UPSET » I wrote: “... As of this writing, there are some reports of people possibly having this illness more than once.”
The information about COVID is refreshed and refined daily. I don’t offer medical advice, and only report information released by the CDC.
My columns are written two weeks in advance of publication, and cannot keep pace with research about this disease.