How to deal with triggers
Living in Humboldt County is no guarantee of a stress-free life. We can suffer as much or more than someone living in the “Big City.” Did I mention the long Humboldt winters full of rain? (Not this year!)
Many of us get stuck in dysfunctional and stressful patterns of acting and being. Much of it is dictated by the fact that we simply give up and let go. We give into our moods, tiredness, burnout and stress. We get snarky and we stop caring about how we are impacting those around us. We sometimes just quit.
Then there are the “triggers” … the stuff that REALLY sets you off often when you do not see it coming. … I always thought that triggering was for lightweights and other weak-willed individuals. It turns out that’s not true! You and I are triggered weekly if not daily — even hourly!
We store up pain and problems of our past. If no one disturbs those, we can function just fine. But when our buttons get pushed — all that junk below the surface can manifest in ways that are certainly not good.
Most of us deal with our problems through avoidance. We craft a personality and approach that keeps people at a distance from us emotionally. Avoiding upset emotions is not a recipe for success and at some point, we must lift the lid of our heart and look … sometimes not a pretty sight!
The steps of being triggered: First, we must admit that we have been triggered. This starts by noticing when you are triggered. We all tend to shut down relationally and emotionally and feel like running away, fighting, or we just simply overreact. Perhaps you’ve been triggered in this way?
Secondly, we need to pray and ask God as soon as we recognize that we have been triggered and our buttons have been pushed. If you find that you’ve been triggered and you’re acting like someone you are not, it’s good to stop and pray and listen and think about what’s really going on! God really cares.
Thirdly, we need to ask for a new perspective and take the time to connect with God and others about the memories and the things being brought up as we examine our triggering episode. This can give us a whole new outlook and meaning.
Lastly, be sure you share what we learn from this personal growth exercise (triggering) with others who are safe people. We need to make it really connect so that next time we can have a changed approach of attitude and habit and action. There’s a process to come back from this…
• See it early — pay attention and focus on your shift early and in the midst on initial triggering.
• Make good emotional intelligent choices in your responding vs. reacting.
• Breathe, run, step away, shift — anything but remain in your early triggered head space.
• Recap and share and move toward someone or something positive and life-giving.
• Try these in your next triggering episode and let me know how it goes. You got this!