New mom struggles with new problems
DEAR AMY » I just had a baby two months ago. I have two other children from a previous relationship. They are 18 and
20, so I’m basically a “new” mom.
My boyfriend and I decided it would be best for me to be a stay-at-home mom and being that I did that for many years with my other children, I was ecstatic.
He found a new higherpaying job to cover my lack of income. I was so proud of him!
Everything seemed to be going great until a few days ago. He started acting distant and we’ve gotten into some pretty bad arguments.
I have no idea what has changed. He now says he needs space, and my heart is broken. He says he’s tired of me making him feel like everything he does is wrong. l definitely don’t think that. I do get upset over his phone usage, especially around the baby.
He has a problem with addiction and has been using kratom.
I feel like he’s hiding something from me. How do I fix this? I’ve been an emotional mess and feel like it’s affecting my new baby.
— It Takes a Village
DEAR IT TAKES A VILLAGE
» Your question’s signature provides a clue into what I urge you to do in the short term: Let the “village: help to take care of you. Reach out to friends, family members and other new or “redux” moms.
See your physician right away to be screened for postpartum depression. Because I don’t believe it is in your power to “fix this,” you must take your new baby’s life — and yours — one day at a time. Or one hour at a time.
I’m speculating, but it is possible that the stress of this extreme lifestyle change may have triggered your partner to relapse.
Kratom is an herbal supplement sometimes used to counteract the effects of addiction withdrawal.
According to an article published by the Mayo Clinic (mayoclinic. org), “Kratom is believed to act on opioid receptors. At low doses, kratom acts as a stimulant, making users feel more energetic. At higher doses, it reduces pain and may bring on euphoria. At very high doses, it acts as a sedative, making users quiet and perhaps sleepy.
“Depending on what is in the plant and the health of the user, taking kratom may be very dangerous. Claims about the benefits of kratom can’t be rated because reliable evidence is lacking.”
This herb is also extremely toxic to babies.
If your guy “needs space” I suggest that you give it to him, because he does not seem to be in a stable place right now. Your and your baby’s emotional and physical health and safety is paramount.
Let your “village” lift and hold you up until you gain your strength back.