Guests turn party into sales opportunity
Dear Harriette: I went to a party recently, and toward the end of the evening, I noticed several people become overtly opportunistic. This one guy, whom I had never even seen before, started asking a million questions, and before I could even answer them, he was pushing me to hire him to leverage my business. His claim was about how great he was and that I needed him in order to be successful. Then he pulled a “Shark Tank” move, saying that if I didn’t accept his proposal to hire him on the spot, he was out of there. I didn’t bite.
Another person had written a book and was actively trying to get everyone in the room to buy one. His strategy was to put the book in people’s hands even before describing it at all, followed immediately by handing them a little card with cash transfer details on it. It seemed like that game
Hot Potato, in that if the book was in your hands, you had to buy it.
It was weird being in such a blatantly salesy situation that had started out as a social gathering. I felt like I would be a social pariah if I didn’t give in to these people’s demands, so I left. What do you say to people when they push so hard to get you to do something? — Stop Guilting Me
Dear Stop Guilting Me: Don’t give in to that kind of pressure. You can be polite up to a point, but always stand your ground. In the case of the man looking for a job, you could have stopped answering his questions even earlier. Once you noticed his energy and demeanor, the red flag could have warned you that he wasn’t the type of person you want to do business with. Instead of talking more about yourself, you could have turned the tables and invited him to talk about himself. People like him tend to enjoy bragging. You could have then excused yourself and walked away.
For the pushy author, you could have congratulated him on the success of publishing a book and said you are not interested in making a purchase right now, followed immediately by physically moving away to talk to other people. Otherwise, you would be subjected to more sales talk.
Dear Harriette: I’ve dreamed of working in theater for most of my life. I was recently cast in a role in a production that I’ve always wanted to be cast in. We’ve only done one show so far, but I am realizing how demanding and tough theater life really is. I’m physically and mentally exhausted from rehearsals. I’m not sure If I can continue to do this. I do not want to abandon my dream, but it isn’t at all what I imagined it to be. Should I tough it out, or should I reconsider this career choice? — Second Guessing
Dear Second Guessing: Don’t give up yet. Every dream worth its power comes with requirements. Yes, it can be grueling to be on a theater schedule. It can wear on you physically and emotionally. Accept that. Give this production all you’ve got. That includes establishing a solid regimen to take care of yourself. Pay attention to what you eat, how you exercise and when you sleep. If you are able to establish discipline around your habits, you will be able to survive and thrive in this pressure-cooker culture. Everything in life that is worth achieving comes at a cost. Don’t shy away from the cost of making this dream come true. Lean in and see where it leads you.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. Send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.