Employee not excited about work trip

Dear Harriette: I am from Los Angeles. Last year, I was in a long-distance relationship with a man from New York City. I hadn’t really been to New York before I started seeing him, but I visited three times last year just to spend time with him. We broke up earlier this year, and I haven’t been back since. Today I was asked to fly to New York for a work trip. I am feeling uneasy about visiting. I have no prominent memories of that city that aren’t linked to happy memories with my ex-boyfriend, and I feel sad at the thought that this time I won’t be seeing him. How do I get over that feeling? — Work Trip

Dear Work Trip: It is time to create some new memories. If anybody else from work is going, plan dinners out with that person so that you can explore the city a bit. If you are traveling solo, research what’s happening in the city in advance, and select fun things to do in your spare time. You may want to take in a Broadway play or check out a new restaurant — you can sit at the bar if you are uncomfortable sitting at a table by yourself.

The point is that you have the ability to enjoy New York thoroughly without your former boyfriend. But you have to make an effort. What you don’t want to do is go to the city and stay in your room whenever you are free or visit the old haunts that you shared with your ex.

Dear Harriette: I am Indian, and I have always been proud of my culture. The other day I made Indian food and brought it to my workplace for lunch. While I was eating, one of my co-workers rudely and loudly commented that she cannot stand the smell of Indian food. I obviously took offense to this comment. I asked her to leave the room if she can’t stand the smell of someone else’s food. She later complained to my boss about my “hostile attitude.”

I am due for a meeting with this co-worker and our boss soon to discuss the events that occurred. How do I walk into this meeting with a level-headed approach while I am so offended? What are the do’s and don’ts? — Rude CoWorker

Foods with all kinds of aromas are likely to appear at lunchtime, and it’s unfair to single out a certain one for exclusion.

Dear Rude Co-Worker: Be an observer first. Let your boss open the discussion, and listen to what your co-worker has to say. Then speak up and share your side. If other people bring lunch, you can point out that you are not unique in bringing lunch to work. While your coworker may not appreciate your cuisine, you thought it was rude of her to make a disparaging comment about your food. If anything, this co-worker was rude to you. In the end, your boss is going to have to figure out how to be inclusive of all employees and their preferences in a shared eating space. Foods with all kinds of aromas are likely to appear at lunchtime, and it’s unfair to single out a certain one for exclusion.