Two Musketeers swashbuckle, leaving out the third

DEAR AMY >> I lived in a place with my two best friends as roommates.

We were the Three Musketeers. Then my two roommates started getting together.

Once they started doing their thing, I felt like they completely dropped me, and suddenly, I was living in a house where I almost felt like a stranger.

They eventually moved out. They don’t seem to understand why I’m upset about my two best friends completely disregarding me.

They had each other, and I was alone.

I still care about them, but I can’t get them to understand why I felt so hurt.

We’re on very uneven terms right now.

Any suggestions?

— Missing My Homies

DEAR MISSING >> If two points of a relationship triangle form an alliance, the other point is left hanging, isolated on the isosceles.

Unfortunately, many times even a beautiful and close friendship triangle is no match for the pull of attraction and exclusivity when two people couple-up and form their own little bubble.

If two of the original Three Musketeers hooked up, I assure you that their battles would look more like the Three Stooges than the swashbuckling adventures of the Dumas story. (And yes, there were actually four Musketeers, but that is another story for another day.)

You’ve already explained how hurt you’ve been. You feel abandoned by two people you were very close to.

It might help you to move forward if you zero in on exactly what you want from them. Would an acknowledgment and an apology help you to heal from this? If so, ask them to grant you these things. Prepare for the possibility that they will not give you what you want. And at some point, you’re going to have to consider forgiving them to see if you can form your own new friendship geometry.

DEAR AMY >> “Potential Bank Mom” asked you if it was OK to financially help one daughter who was struggling but not give equally to the more prosperous daughter.

As long as this mom doesn’t see how her bailouts are basically keeping her struggling daughter from making better choices, I agree with your answer that this is a “life isn’t always fair” lesson. — Been There