Narcissistic sibling hard to tolerate
DEAR HARRIETTE >> Navigating a relationship with my older brother has always been challenging because he tends to be overwhelming, demanding and selfcentered. However, our current circumstances require daily communication as our jobs are interconnected. I am faced with the daunting task of addressing his narcissistic, inconsiderate and unprofessional behavior without sparking a heated argument, knowing that our previous discussions have ended in conflict. — Older Brother Problem
DEAR OLDER BROTHER PROBLEM >> Do your best not to attack your brother directly about the things that bother you. Describe the behavior that you find offensive, and say how it makes you feel. Talk about what you need in order to do a good job, and ask for his advice on how to handle challenging situations. By engaging his empathy and wisdom, you may be able to corral him into being less obnoxious and more professional.
DEAR HARRIETT >> I've always had a clear picture in my mind of what I want in a partner and for my future. .
First, I've always imagined my engagement ring as a symbol of not just love, but also of financial security. I expect my future husband to propose with a ring that falls within the range of $800,000 to $1 million. To me, this isn't just about materialism, but about the commitment and stability I desire in a lifelong partnership.
Second, I've always been clear that I plan to work for a maximum of five years after marriage. After that, I want to dedicate myself fully to raising our children. While my current partner seems on board with these plans, my friend has pointed out that expecting such commitments from a 21-year-old might be unrealistic and could potentially put undue pressure on them.
Now I'm torn between sticking to my convictions and wondering if I'm asking for too much, too soon. What do you think? — High Expectations
DEAR HIGH EXPECTATIONS >> I think you are being wildly materialistic and naive. If you want your future spouse to be able to afford something that costs a million dollars, talk to them about investments, earnings and savings. Ask them about their vision of the future. Don't try to force them to spend so much on a ring.
I recommend that you be able to take care of yourself, no matter what. It's time for you to think more flexibly and talk to your partner in detail about whatever you are thinking — long before you marry.